Environmental Working Group database....see what's in your products!
http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/?sunscreens=1&best=1
Keeper Of The Home - a wonderful blog! Sometimes she's more extreme than I'm ready to embrace, but I highly respect the way she keeps her home.
www.keeperofthehome.org
11 December 2012
It's Not Easy Being Green
Well, you may or may not know that even before I found out I was pregnant, I had started to make an effort to replace things in my life that ran out with the healthiest, non-toxic, yet affordable product I could find. The end goal is to feel 100% secure, educated, and healthy with the things that surround my home and my family.
What have I learned so far?
1. We are all dumb, blind sheep. We believe that if a store sells it with a leaf-shaped sticker or if a doctor recommends it, it must be OK, even beneficial. Common items from Febreeze to disposable diapers to dishwasher detergent to scented candles are full of poisons, toxins, cancer-causing agents, and irritants.
2. I still don't understand how we got here, collectively, as a society. Normally, I like the belly laughs, even in the face of rather serious things (like eye cancer) but I can't find one single thing that is funny about this particular soapbox. Obviously convenience, affordability, and profitability have driven this "movement" like most others, but when did it become acceptable to put poisons known to be absorbed through the skin into disposable diapers without a warning on the box?! Is it because we don't see the INSTANT detriments, like tar in the lungs after smoking? Because the facts are there...babies, especially boys, absorb dioxin and other toxins from their diapers through their genitals and have a serious of varied reactions ranging from infertility to less serious problems like chemical burns. When did it become alright to put similar toxins and chemicals in our candles, in our detergents, and even in our candy? When did we become so lazy or so gullible that we continue to bring these things into our home without a second thought?!
3. It takes a hell of a lot of research to cut through the bull s**t to figure out what you really are "consuming" and how it actually affects your body. Sometimes, even after DAYS of research, I still don't have answers backed by valid science so it becomes a matter of following my gut and/or seeking alternatives that seem like they could be better.
4. Being non-toxic as possible doesn't have to be expensive or inconvenient. Hopefully I can show you easy alternatives and already have done the research for you in future posts.
5. It's easiest to take it slow and choose your battles very carefully or you'll burn yourself out and want to go live in a sod hut in the middle of nowhere. I am trying to keep an eye on things that are getting low so that I have time to do the research and be ready to purchase when the item finally runs out. I'm using plenty of things, daily, that I know are full of obnoxious chemicals, but they aren't empty, I paid good money for them, and I like them so they are staying until they're empty!
6. It's better to be safe than sorry. Call me paranoid, insane, goofy, a hippie, or a liberal. I will cop to being the first three. We have all of these maladies and ailments cropping up in alarming excess and nobody can explain why. Why are so many more kids allergic to peanuts? Why are so many more kids diagnosed with autism, ADD, ADHD, epilepsy, etc? Why can't the US bring down it's maternal and infant mortality rates? (The USA is the third WORST of all the developed countries.) Will being a paranoid goof prevent my future children from all of these problems. No. I am honest with myself about that. But I will have no regrets, no reason to kick myself because I know I will have done my absolute best.
7. I don't actually care that much about the environment. Oops. There, I said it. I will not buy a product just because it has a small carbon footprint or whatever, unless it is also the best non-toxic option for my house. If it does have "earth perks" then that is wonderful. Here's a gold star. In the end, though, it's about making my home as safe and happy as possible first and foremost. I'll get to the planet later, right?!
Whew. That's a lot of learning. And re-reading all of that, I'm now completely certain I sound like a nut-job, but I am also completely certain that I'm fine with that.
Finally, I'm hoping to throw out miscellaneous posts with information that I've found throughout all of this. In some instances, there will be links directly to retailers. Please do not feel pressured to buy using my links, but know that if you do, it does benefit me a tiny, itsy bitsy bit. Also, if you find a better price, send it my way, pretty please!!
What have I learned so far?
1. We are all dumb, blind sheep. We believe that if a store sells it with a leaf-shaped sticker or if a doctor recommends it, it must be OK, even beneficial. Common items from Febreeze to disposable diapers to dishwasher detergent to scented candles are full of poisons, toxins, cancer-causing agents, and irritants.
2. I still don't understand how we got here, collectively, as a society. Normally, I like the belly laughs, even in the face of rather serious things (like eye cancer) but I can't find one single thing that is funny about this particular soapbox. Obviously convenience, affordability, and profitability have driven this "movement" like most others, but when did it become acceptable to put poisons known to be absorbed through the skin into disposable diapers without a warning on the box?! Is it because we don't see the INSTANT detriments, like tar in the lungs after smoking? Because the facts are there...babies, especially boys, absorb dioxin and other toxins from their diapers through their genitals and have a serious of varied reactions ranging from infertility to less serious problems like chemical burns. When did it become alright to put similar toxins and chemicals in our candles, in our detergents, and even in our candy? When did we become so lazy or so gullible that we continue to bring these things into our home without a second thought?!
3. It takes a hell of a lot of research to cut through the bull s**t to figure out what you really are "consuming" and how it actually affects your body. Sometimes, even after DAYS of research, I still don't have answers backed by valid science so it becomes a matter of following my gut and/or seeking alternatives that seem like they could be better.
4. Being non-toxic as possible doesn't have to be expensive or inconvenient. Hopefully I can show you easy alternatives and already have done the research for you in future posts.
5. It's easiest to take it slow and choose your battles very carefully or you'll burn yourself out and want to go live in a sod hut in the middle of nowhere. I am trying to keep an eye on things that are getting low so that I have time to do the research and be ready to purchase when the item finally runs out. I'm using plenty of things, daily, that I know are full of obnoxious chemicals, but they aren't empty, I paid good money for them, and I like them so they are staying until they're empty!
6. It's better to be safe than sorry. Call me paranoid, insane, goofy, a hippie, or a liberal. I will cop to being the first three. We have all of these maladies and ailments cropping up in alarming excess and nobody can explain why. Why are so many more kids allergic to peanuts? Why are so many more kids diagnosed with autism, ADD, ADHD, epilepsy, etc? Why can't the US bring down it's maternal and infant mortality rates? (The USA is the third WORST of all the developed countries.) Will being a paranoid goof prevent my future children from all of these problems. No. I am honest with myself about that. But I will have no regrets, no reason to kick myself because I know I will have done my absolute best.
7. I don't actually care that much about the environment. Oops. There, I said it. I will not buy a product just because it has a small carbon footprint or whatever, unless it is also the best non-toxic option for my house. If it does have "earth perks" then that is wonderful. Here's a gold star. In the end, though, it's about making my home as safe and happy as possible first and foremost. I'll get to the planet later, right?!
Whew. That's a lot of learning. And re-reading all of that, I'm now completely certain I sound like a nut-job, but I am also completely certain that I'm fine with that.
Finally, I'm hoping to throw out miscellaneous posts with information that I've found throughout all of this. In some instances, there will be links directly to retailers. Please do not feel pressured to buy using my links, but know that if you do, it does benefit me a tiny, itsy bitsy bit. Also, if you find a better price, send it my way, pretty please!!
03 December 2012
Thoughts on Parenting, Experience Level: 3
I thought it would be really fun to put down some of my current parenting thoughts so that a year or nine from now, I can revisit them and laugh hysterically at the optimistic, naive, and energetic parent-to-be that wrote this post. If you're currently a parent, and you read these and think, "HAHAHA, yeah right!" please feel free to comment OR let me get to the same conclusion on my own. I'll repost someday and validate you, so don't worry.
1. During pregnancy: This is the only item I don't think will change much....I believe in having a relaxed, healthy, and aware pregnancy. So far, so good. I am much more tired than I ever thought I would be which will be a pain when I'm trying to chase other kids around full-time, I'm sure. I've been quite vigilant in cutting toxins out of my daily habits from bad shampoos to white flour, but not driving myself insane over it.
2. Childbirth: We are going to deliver at the local hospital, but with as few interventions as necessary, no epidural, and no pitocin until baby is out. There are a thousand other relevant items on our birth plan, but I don't want to gross you out. We plan to kangaroo parent and head home as soon as medically possible.
3. Sleeping: We fully plan on using the 12 hours in 12 weeks sleep training plan. It's simple and we know several people who have had success with it with multiple kids. It turns out those kids are the EASIEST kid I know to babysit and put to bed and I'd just be the luckiest to have one of my own. I also don't believe in having baby in our master bedroom except for naps, early mornings, and bad dreams. The idea is to not invite baby to pee in my one sanctuary, thank you very much. We do, however, have a bed in the nursery, because I'm not that idealistic. I'm sure there will be many rough nights were you will find me curled up around baby in the nursery, hahaha.
4. Diapering: Got our cloth diaper stash all built up and an order for newborn sized non-toxic diapers coming up. Cloth diapering is my choice because of the incredible cost savings over non-toxic disposables, not because I care about the earth and its overflowing landfills, to be honest!
5. Clothing: The baby is not going to be wearing cutsey-pie outfits every day. If you visit, expect to find her in a gown or onsie with leggings on a cool day, and probably just a cloth diaper and diaper cover on warm days. I HATE laundering out stains so cute clothes will be reserved for special events.
6. Dogs: My dogs are already very well trained around small kids. With that said, the baby will NEVER be left alone with the pups, not even for a second. Either the baby or the dogs will come with me if I need to leave the room. Since the dogs will listen when I call them and the baby probably won't (at least for awhile), the dogs will probably be hanging with mommy. We have a Roomba that will run every day on the main floor, and the pups will not be allowed in the nursery except when I'm in there. Besides that, I have no plans to keep the house super sterile and the dogs will probably sneak wet kisses in when I'm not looking. As far as I know, no kid has ever died from having a kiss or two from their most loyal friends. (And yes, I know about the roundworm threat, so I will do my best to keep the dog's feet out of baby's eyes.)
7. Life in general: I am not good at sitting at home all day. Dangerous things happen. Walls get half-painted. Much online shopping happens spontaneously. Huge batches of baked goods magically appear and then disappear. My goal is to get out of the house every day for 1-2 walks/jogs and every other day for a real errand where I see real people and therefore have to comb my hair.
8. Marriage: It's not going to be easy leaving baby with a babysitter, but it has to be done. Don and I have weathered a lot like being apart for the first two years we were married, so there's no reason to start neglecting "us" now, is there?
Whew, being a parent sounds exhausting. I think I'll go nap now.
1. During pregnancy: This is the only item I don't think will change much....I believe in having a relaxed, healthy, and aware pregnancy. So far, so good. I am much more tired than I ever thought I would be which will be a pain when I'm trying to chase other kids around full-time, I'm sure. I've been quite vigilant in cutting toxins out of my daily habits from bad shampoos to white flour, but not driving myself insane over it.
2. Childbirth: We are going to deliver at the local hospital, but with as few interventions as necessary, no epidural, and no pitocin until baby is out. There are a thousand other relevant items on our birth plan, but I don't want to gross you out. We plan to kangaroo parent and head home as soon as medically possible.
3. Sleeping: We fully plan on using the 12 hours in 12 weeks sleep training plan. It's simple and we know several people who have had success with it with multiple kids. It turns out those kids are the EASIEST kid I know to babysit and put to bed and I'd just be the luckiest to have one of my own. I also don't believe in having baby in our master bedroom except for naps, early mornings, and bad dreams. The idea is to not invite baby to pee in my one sanctuary, thank you very much. We do, however, have a bed in the nursery, because I'm not that idealistic. I'm sure there will be many rough nights were you will find me curled up around baby in the nursery, hahaha.
4. Diapering: Got our cloth diaper stash all built up and an order for newborn sized non-toxic diapers coming up. Cloth diapering is my choice because of the incredible cost savings over non-toxic disposables, not because I care about the earth and its overflowing landfills, to be honest!
5. Clothing: The baby is not going to be wearing cutsey-pie outfits every day. If you visit, expect to find her in a gown or onsie with leggings on a cool day, and probably just a cloth diaper and diaper cover on warm days. I HATE laundering out stains so cute clothes will be reserved for special events.
6. Dogs: My dogs are already very well trained around small kids. With that said, the baby will NEVER be left alone with the pups, not even for a second. Either the baby or the dogs will come with me if I need to leave the room. Since the dogs will listen when I call them and the baby probably won't (at least for awhile), the dogs will probably be hanging with mommy. We have a Roomba that will run every day on the main floor, and the pups will not be allowed in the nursery except when I'm in there. Besides that, I have no plans to keep the house super sterile and the dogs will probably sneak wet kisses in when I'm not looking. As far as I know, no kid has ever died from having a kiss or two from their most loyal friends. (And yes, I know about the roundworm threat, so I will do my best to keep the dog's feet out of baby's eyes.)
7. Life in general: I am not good at sitting at home all day. Dangerous things happen. Walls get half-painted. Much online shopping happens spontaneously. Huge batches of baked goods magically appear and then disappear. My goal is to get out of the house every day for 1-2 walks/jogs and every other day for a real errand where I see real people and therefore have to comb my hair.
8. Marriage: It's not going to be easy leaving baby with a babysitter, but it has to be done. Don and I have weathered a lot like being apart for the first two years we were married, so there's no reason to start neglecting "us" now, is there?
Whew, being a parent sounds exhausting. I think I'll go nap now.
29 November 2012
I'll Never See This Size Again...
Well, I made halfway through this pregnancy and my smallest pair of pre-pregnancy pants still fit. Well, they don't button, but I'm wearing them today! I've got a hair tie that loops around the button, through the button hole, and back over the button. Surprisingly comfortable and easy to hide under a long shirt.
In a way, I feel like I deserve to still fit in my favorite bottoms since my "top" has grown out of control in these last 20 weeks. Seriously out of control. And after spending $90 on assorted bras, I no longer have a single one that fits right. Conveniently, nobody in town stocks bras in my size either. One starts to feel like a true freak of nature when even Walmart doesn't carry the right size. They have bras big enough to haul water for an expedition across the Gobi Desert but those big old bras also have a band size big enough to go around the moon or several camels, perhaps.
I have a few pairs of maternity jeans that I like but they don't stay up very well. And it's not like they have belt loops. Every few minutes I gave a saggy crotch and they're hard to pull up with the giant elastic belly band.
Nothing makes me feel sexy like having a big old belly and a saggy crotch!
All complaints aside, I am glad nobody expects to see me in a muumuu. How do ladies pee wearing those things anyways?!
28 November 2012
It Takes a Village...
Dear Baby Girl,
I'm writing to let you know that you aren't born yet, but you have a whole village of friends, family, and loved ones who are making it possible for you to have an awesome life in and out of the womb. What a lucky baby you are, and what lucky parents we are going to be.
I hope, as your parents, we raise you to BE grateful and SHOW your appreciation for all of these wonderful people who are quietly working behind the scenes to give us everything we need to help you suceed. I hope, as your parents, that this village of people knows just how much we appreciate everything they do.
Loved ones hundreds of miles away are planning your baby shower, sewing you your first quilt, picking out just the perfect baby book for you, and diligently window shopping for your layette. Friends are lending us baby books, fetal dopplers, and priceless advice so we can make good choices for you until you're big enough to start choosing with us.
Your grandparents already think you're beautiful, even if your ultrasounds show you look like an alien. (Don't worry, your dear mother and Uncle Taylor were "aliens" for the first several months of their lives too, but in a different sense. Ask Grandma Diana if you don't believe me.)
Your dad has traded in his 'Outdoor' magazine for a baby names book and makes me tea and food at strange hours with no complaints.
You are a lucky, lucky baby! We can't wait to meet you in the spring. (Please, don't make your grand appearance any sooner, despite what you might hear me say in a moment of exhaustion!)
Love,
Mom
A heartfelt thanks to everyone, everywhere, for everything. I feel like I can't thank everyone enough and that I'm constantly forgetting to thank specific people for specific things. I'd like to blame the baby-brain, but I'm really just so excited that I'm twitterpated. Forgive me!
27 November 2012
20 Week Ultrasound...and Gender Reveal!
Today we had our 20 week appointment, and luckily Don got to come along. We hit up the Ultrasound Tech first and got to see the baby for the second time. The first time, it looked like this:
This time, it actually looked like a BABY!! A very alien baby, but better than the pseudo-fruit-scorpion of previous times. Look at that little alien face! At 20 weeks, babies don't have much fat on them so their bones show up well....those giant alien eyes are actually just the brow bone and the cheek bones showing up brightly. In between them is the nose/sinuses. The head is tilted to the left and the eyes and nose are below the "ARM" text, if you're completely confused by the ultrasound.
At the beginning of the scan, she was curled up so tight that we weren't sure if the baby was a he or a she. And then, she started running laps or moonwalking like crazy.
Don knew it was a girl all along. I never really had a feeling either way, and in a way, it's strange to know it's a little "she." It does make picking out names easier though.
So everything looks great with baby from her measurements to the fluid around her and her movements. Everything looks pretty good for me too, except for the fact that I haven't gained a single pound yet. Doc says I need to do that if I want ample breastmilk supply, so literally as I sit here and type, I'm chowing down on ice cream with chocolate, carmel, and waffle cone chunks. MMMM. Also, fried chicken for dinner.
 |
| The banana on the left is the baby and the circle on the right is the yolk sac. |
This time, it actually looked like a BABY!! A very alien baby, but better than the pseudo-fruit-scorpion of previous times. Look at that little alien face! At 20 weeks, babies don't have much fat on them so their bones show up well....those giant alien eyes are actually just the brow bone and the cheek bones showing up brightly. In between them is the nose/sinuses. The head is tilted to the left and the eyes and nose are below the "ARM" text, if you're completely confused by the ultrasound.
 |
| Baby is laying on its side, facing the screen. The face is on the left, baby's left arm is in the middle, and a little leg is showing at far right. |
 |
| IT'S A GIRL! |
 |
| Looking upwards towards the baby's bum and bottom of her thighs. The poor kid is already having her privacy invaded on the good old internet. Hahaha. |
 |
| What a good lookin' lower skeleton, right?? The lower back and pelvis are on the left and the legs point to the right. |
At the beginning of the scan, she was curled up so tight that we weren't sure if the baby was a he or a she. And then, she started running laps or moonwalking like crazy.
Don knew it was a girl all along. I never really had a feeling either way, and in a way, it's strange to know it's a little "she." It does make picking out names easier though.
So everything looks great with baby from her measurements to the fluid around her and her movements. Everything looks pretty good for me too, except for the fact that I haven't gained a single pound yet. Doc says I need to do that if I want ample breastmilk supply, so literally as I sit here and type, I'm chowing down on ice cream with chocolate, carmel, and waffle cone chunks. MMMM. Also, fried chicken for dinner.
22 November 2012
Gratitude 2012 (Week 3)
21 November 2012: Today I'm overjoyed to have a fetal doppler, lent to me by a sweet friend. I had horrible dreams last night about losing the baby and there was nothing more comforting than to walk to the kitchen and find that little galloping heartbeat.
20 November 2012: Loving my dishwasher today. After almost five years without one, I can say I want to cry with joy every time I turn mine on. Even if it only cleans half the dishes because it's old and cheap.
19 November 2012: COWS! Can't wait to have that beautiful angus roast for thanksgiving dinner.
18 November 2012: Coffee! And all of those studies out there that have verified it is safe for me to have caffeine during pregnancy (under 200 mg per day.) And husbands who bring me coffee in bed.
17 November 2012: Down, as in what we rip from birds. So light. So warm. So fluffy. So good at hiding my pregnancy fat.
16 November 2012: This fine day, I'm eternally grateful for spray bottles! They are my best tool for shutting up a barking dog (and occasionally, startling a toddler out of a tantrum, hahahaha) and they keep me from overwatering my cacti.
15 November 2012: Today I'm grateful for people who care about the things they expose their bodies to as much as I do. I do my best to not drive myself crazy over it, and I generally refuse to pay double for something organic if it's not on the dirty dozen list, but I do care. I am grateful for the internet which makes it extremely easy to do research on a company or product or ingredient and to find healthier substitutes. I urge everyone to read labels and think carefully. Febreeze? Seems too good to be true? Well, it sort of is. It's horrible for you, your kids, and your pets. Even nail polish is full of toxins that shouldn't be a problem unless you are a nail-biter or using it on your kids. I'm so, so glad for the latest "purity" fad, and I'm looking forward to checking out the new -Ology line at Walgreens, in the nerdiest way possible.
20 November 2012: Loving my dishwasher today. After almost five years without one, I can say I want to cry with joy every time I turn mine on. Even if it only cleans half the dishes because it's old and cheap.
19 November 2012: COWS! Can't wait to have that beautiful angus roast for thanksgiving dinner.
18 November 2012: Coffee! And all of those studies out there that have verified it is safe for me to have caffeine during pregnancy (under 200 mg per day.) And husbands who bring me coffee in bed.
17 November 2012: Down, as in what we rip from birds. So light. So warm. So fluffy. So good at hiding my pregnancy fat.
16 November 2012: This fine day, I'm eternally grateful for spray bottles! They are my best tool for shutting up a barking dog (and occasionally, startling a toddler out of a tantrum, hahahaha) and they keep me from overwatering my cacti.
15 November 2012: Today I'm grateful for people who care about the things they expose their bodies to as much as I do. I do my best to not drive myself crazy over it, and I generally refuse to pay double for something organic if it's not on the dirty dozen list, but I do care. I am grateful for the internet which makes it extremely easy to do research on a company or product or ingredient and to find healthier substitutes. I urge everyone to read labels and think carefully. Febreeze? Seems too good to be true? Well, it sort of is. It's horrible for you, your kids, and your pets. Even nail polish is full of toxins that shouldn't be a problem unless you are a nail-biter or using it on your kids. I'm so, so glad for the latest "purity" fad, and I'm looking forward to checking out the new -Ology line at Walgreens, in the nerdiest way possible.
Eyeball Update, Round 2
Well, I got a phone call on Wednesday that I wasn't expecting...
The surgical center where my eye surgery was to be performed has denied me as a patient because I'm pregnant and have adverse reactions to anesthesia.
Surgery is postponed until 9 January 2013...NEXT YEAR?! :(
I'm definitely sad that we have to wait even longer. However, it is really nice to not have to think about it over the holidays! I really didn't want the "cancer-not-cancer" diagnosis hanging over my Christmas, so in a way, this is a big reprieve.
Thank you all for your well-wishes and prayers. Y'all can bump me and my eyeball farther down your list until after the New Year.
The surgical center where my eye surgery was to be performed has denied me as a patient because I'm pregnant and have adverse reactions to anesthesia.
Surgery is postponed until 9 January 2013...NEXT YEAR?! :(
I'm definitely sad that we have to wait even longer. However, it is really nice to not have to think about it over the holidays! I really didn't want the "cancer-not-cancer" diagnosis hanging over my Christmas, so in a way, this is a big reprieve.
Thank you all for your well-wishes and prayers. Y'all can bump me and my eyeball farther down your list until after the New Year.
14 November 2012
Eyeball Update
Ever since I was a wee human, I've had a "freckle" on my right eye. We think it showed up as "reactionary pigment" after I was whacked in the face with a giant pine tree on the playground at Sandstone Elementary. (If you went there, you know what I'm talking about...we all got hit at least once, I believe.)
Well, this freckle has never bothered me. I can't feel it in any way, and it doesn't affect my vision. In fact, every once in awhile, someone will say, "You have a spot on your eye!" And I have to think long and hard to figure out what they're talking about.
It wasn't until high school that I even gave any thought to it thanks to the Postal Service song:
"""And I / Am thinking it's a sign / That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images / And when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned."""
It actually turns out the unfreckled boy I was choosing to kiss was a toad that was never going to be a prince, but that's a whole different blog! Ha ha!
Every year, I go to the eye doctor like a good little patient, and they measure it, write down the measurement, and send me home with stronger contacts because I get a little blinder each time.
Except this year. In June, my lovely eye doctor (Dr. Melissa Rice in Silverdale...I recommend her!) let me know that the freckle was growing. My first thought was, "Nope." Seriously this thing has been on my eye for almost 20 years with no change. Obviously she measured incorrectly. Actually, the freckle had doubled in size and added some little pigmented arms to boot. She referred me to Dr. Cole at Cole Aesthetics for a biopsy.
Now, Dr. Cole mostly specializes in aesthetic procedures (hence the name....) so it was a little weird to be there for an eye freckle. And it was even weirder when he had my eye flapped open (I could literally see a chunk of my eye held over my face in a pair of rounded tweezers!!!) and hear him say, "Uh oh. Hmmmmmmmmmm. This doesn't look like anything I can do anything with. Let's schedule her with blah, blah, blah." I was laying there just thinking, "OK, please put my eye down."
As soon as he had reassembled my eye, they let me know that none of the freckle was in the top clear layer of the eye known as the conjunctiva. The conjunctiva is a very soft, fast healing layer so it's apparently ok to just make big flaps in it and then send me home without a super cool eye patch. So the freckle was in the tough white part of the eye known as the sclera also known as the last layer of your eye before we puncture the eye ball and you DIE. Ok, not really. But if they do puncture the sclera, you don't just get a patch and a ride home. So naturally, Dr. Cole was hesitant to start digging around in there and I left with a referral.
Yesterday was the day I got to see Dr. Kremer who is a cornea specialist and works at an office that doesn't specialize in lasers and chin-lifts which was slightly more reassuring. Dr. Kremer also has done thousands of eyeball surgeries and has a very loud voice so he must be qualified, right?
Dr. Kremer's office people shined about fifteenthousandbillion lights and thingies into my eye and decided it needed to come out. (They said it that way too! I was like, "The ENTIRE EYEBALL?!?!" And they laughed and said, "No, just the freckle.") Boooo. I was really hoping to hear them say, "Nope, it's nothing. Just a way for us to tell you apart from your clone. Go home and eat lots of ice cream."
So we immediately segued into my pre operative appointment, and everyone made me feel ok about the whole thing (even though I was just faking and was really sort of falling apart in my head) and then they sent me on my way with a surgery date.
I am opting to do the surgery with no anesthesia for the safety of the baby and myself since past surgeries have proven that I am not a champ at all when it comes to anesthesia. They'll basically stick my head in a big foam block to immobilize it, and then I just lay there and try to not run away as fast as I can. They'll numb the surface of the eye, cut back the conjunctiva, and dissect out as much of the freckle as they can without puncturing the eye. Chances are they won't be able to remove it all, just enough for a biopsy. Then they'll put the conjunctiva flap back in place and finally give me a cool eye patch. A few days of recovery, and all is well.
It'll take 7-14 days to hear back from the pathology lab to know if the freckle is benign or cancerous. If it is benign, we start all over again with the "measure yearly" business. If it is cancer, we start eye drops to kill it and/or schedule a second, more invasive surgery to remove it all.
Risks for the surgery are the chance of spreading the cancer, if it is cancer or puncturing the eye. A punctured eye will just need an additional surgery to repair the tear or hole using stitches or a graft.
So how am I actually handling all this? I definitely wish I didn't have to deal with this while pregnant, but many pregnant women deal with much more dire circumstances. I have my husband not-deployed to be able to help, three warm dogs to snuggle with, audio books to prevent boredom, and a mom on call to fly out if something really drastic should occur. This is outpatient surgery with little pain and very short recovery time. All will be alright, even if it does turn out to be cancer. Not many people can really say that. I am blessed, 99.9% healthy, and very, very excited to be a mom in 4-5 months.
Please feel free to pray for quick recovery and pray that I look good in an eye patch. I'll keep everyone updated on how good I look, of course.
Surgery is scheduled for the morning of the 26th of this month.
Well, this freckle has never bothered me. I can't feel it in any way, and it doesn't affect my vision. In fact, every once in awhile, someone will say, "You have a spot on your eye!" And I have to think long and hard to figure out what they're talking about.
It wasn't until high school that I even gave any thought to it thanks to the Postal Service song:
"""And I / Am thinking it's a sign / That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images / And when we kiss, they're perfectly aligned."""
 |
| Random the Postal Service band poster. |
It actually turns out the unfreckled boy I was choosing to kiss was a toad that was never going to be a prince, but that's a whole different blog! Ha ha!
Every year, I go to the eye doctor like a good little patient, and they measure it, write down the measurement, and send me home with stronger contacts because I get a little blinder each time.
Except this year. In June, my lovely eye doctor (Dr. Melissa Rice in Silverdale...I recommend her!) let me know that the freckle was growing. My first thought was, "Nope." Seriously this thing has been on my eye for almost 20 years with no change. Obviously she measured incorrectly. Actually, the freckle had doubled in size and added some little pigmented arms to boot. She referred me to Dr. Cole at Cole Aesthetics for a biopsy.
Now, Dr. Cole mostly specializes in aesthetic procedures (hence the name....) so it was a little weird to be there for an eye freckle. And it was even weirder when he had my eye flapped open (I could literally see a chunk of my eye held over my face in a pair of rounded tweezers!!!) and hear him say, "Uh oh. Hmmmmmmmmmm. This doesn't look like anything I can do anything with. Let's schedule her with blah, blah, blah." I was laying there just thinking, "OK, please put my eye down."
As soon as he had reassembled my eye, they let me know that none of the freckle was in the top clear layer of the eye known as the conjunctiva. The conjunctiva is a very soft, fast healing layer so it's apparently ok to just make big flaps in it and then send me home without a super cool eye patch. So the freckle was in the tough white part of the eye known as the sclera also known as the last layer of your eye before we puncture the eye ball and you DIE. Ok, not really. But if they do puncture the sclera, you don't just get a patch and a ride home. So naturally, Dr. Cole was hesitant to start digging around in there and I left with a referral.
 |
| Here's a gross picture of the cross-section of the eye. |
Yesterday was the day I got to see Dr. Kremer who is a cornea specialist and works at an office that doesn't specialize in lasers and chin-lifts which was slightly more reassuring. Dr. Kremer also has done thousands of eyeball surgeries and has a very loud voice so he must be qualified, right?
Dr. Kremer's office people shined about fifteenthousandbillion lights and thingies into my eye and decided it needed to come out. (They said it that way too! I was like, "The ENTIRE EYEBALL?!?!" And they laughed and said, "No, just the freckle.") Boooo. I was really hoping to hear them say, "Nope, it's nothing. Just a way for us to tell you apart from your clone. Go home and eat lots of ice cream."
So we immediately segued into my pre operative appointment, and everyone made me feel ok about the whole thing (even though I was just faking and was really sort of falling apart in my head) and then they sent me on my way with a surgery date.
I am opting to do the surgery with no anesthesia for the safety of the baby and myself since past surgeries have proven that I am not a champ at all when it comes to anesthesia. They'll basically stick my head in a big foam block to immobilize it, and then I just lay there and try to not run away as fast as I can. They'll numb the surface of the eye, cut back the conjunctiva, and dissect out as much of the freckle as they can without puncturing the eye. Chances are they won't be able to remove it all, just enough for a biopsy. Then they'll put the conjunctiva flap back in place and finally give me a cool eye patch. A few days of recovery, and all is well.
It'll take 7-14 days to hear back from the pathology lab to know if the freckle is benign or cancerous. If it is benign, we start all over again with the "measure yearly" business. If it is cancer, we start eye drops to kill it and/or schedule a second, more invasive surgery to remove it all.
Risks for the surgery are the chance of spreading the cancer, if it is cancer or puncturing the eye. A punctured eye will just need an additional surgery to repair the tear or hole using stitches or a graft.
So how am I actually handling all this? I definitely wish I didn't have to deal with this while pregnant, but many pregnant women deal with much more dire circumstances. I have my husband not-deployed to be able to help, three warm dogs to snuggle with, audio books to prevent boredom, and a mom on call to fly out if something really drastic should occur. This is outpatient surgery with little pain and very short recovery time. All will be alright, even if it does turn out to be cancer. Not many people can really say that. I am blessed, 99.9% healthy, and very, very excited to be a mom in 4-5 months.
Please feel free to pray for quick recovery and pray that I look good in an eye patch. I'll keep everyone updated on how good I look, of course.
Surgery is scheduled for the morning of the 26th of this month.
 |
| Here's a blurry picture of the nefarious freckle....it's right on the edge of my iris. |
13 November 2012
Nursery Ideas!
Well, our baby isn't even half done cooking and we've put a ton of thought and work into the nursery. First we got it all set up in the room at the end of the hall because it was closest to the spare bathroom. After a month of musing on the floorplan (which I HATED), I finally decided we needed to switch it to the room closer to the stairs. It sounded simple in theory but it turns out both rooms were packed with junk so it took an entire evening of Don's muscle. He did it willingly but he did mutter a few times about how much junk I have, heehee.
And now the floor plan is perfect. The crib is away from the window and anything else that baby might reach for later in life. The changing table is unobstructed and relatively close to the crib. The bookshelf is by the glider, and the spare bed has enough room around it to be usable. Phew! Oh, and there's an itty bitty amount of floor space for changing clothes/playing/dogs to lay down and be in the way.
So what's next? Well, we have all the important parts and pieces so really we could probably call it quits. Buuuuttt, I really won't be satisfied with such a sterile looking room for baby, and it's a little room so it won't take much for it to be made-up. So what is next is my favorite part: design and decorating!
We both decided that we want the room to be very gender neutral for a few reasons: the first is because this house is destined to be a rental so gender neutral will mean we won't turn away potential renters. The second reason is because we might end up in this house longer than planned and need to use the room for more than one baby. Even if we move before baby #2, we can take all the parts and pieces with and still have a gender neutral room. See how clever that is? :)
We also both decided that we didn't want to do anything to "baby" or with too much of a "theme." I always look at rooms full of monkeys and bananas or pink daisies and butterflies and think, "That's really cute! And the kid will agree for the next 2-3 years. And then what?!" We definitely want the room to be fun, quirky, personal, but also calming and simple. It's actually a relatively hard balance to get just right.
Here's what we've come up with so far! (By the way, all images are from Pinterest and should link directly back to their original pins.)
All of our furniture is white except the glider and bookcase. I'm planning on painting the bookcase white to match with a fun pop of color on the back. The glider will stay the dark wood that it is because it's beautiful, mostly covered by cushions, and a complete pain to try and paint.
The walls are going to get beadboard wainscoting about halfway up. The wainscoting and trim will all be painted an off-white. The doors and windows will also get beefed-up trim in the same color.
Above the wainscoting, the walls will be a green of some sort. We're trying to decide what shade of green and probably won't until we find out boy or girl. For a girl, a softer sage is in order and a boy will probably get something a big darker and more saturated like a forest green.
As for fabrics, we both wanted a subdued, but fun print. Our first choice was a special order birch tree fabric that came in almond and white or gray and white but it's waaaaay out of our price range! (And probably a bit serious for a baby's room.) Here it is in almond and white:
So what we've settled on is a different birch fabric which I also ADORE and think will make for a much better baby's room when we build around it.
Isn't it adorable?! I think it'll mesh well with the green and white walls. And look at that handsome woodpecker. If it's a boy, I'll incorporate a little orange, for sure.
Here's what I think I'd like to use for the fitted crib sheet:
I think I'll find something in the soft blue to make the crib skirt out of. I also want to make some felt animals to set around the nursery.....
Finally I'm going to make a pennant or two to string across the corner over the crib out of fabric scraps along the lines of this guy:
It's not safe, in my paranoid mind, to have anything solid above the crib that could fall down, but I think the pennants should be cute and soft, right?
Lastly we'll hang some photos in spray painted frames and leave some empty shadowboxes to be filled at a later date by my creative friends. I'm loving the ones that have the announcement and the outfit baby came home in all arranged artfully in a way I'd never think of like this:
And now the floor plan is perfect. The crib is away from the window and anything else that baby might reach for later in life. The changing table is unobstructed and relatively close to the crib. The bookshelf is by the glider, and the spare bed has enough room around it to be usable. Phew! Oh, and there's an itty bitty amount of floor space for changing clothes/playing/dogs to lay down and be in the way.
So what's next? Well, we have all the important parts and pieces so really we could probably call it quits. Buuuuttt, I really won't be satisfied with such a sterile looking room for baby, and it's a little room so it won't take much for it to be made-up. So what is next is my favorite part: design and decorating!
We both decided that we want the room to be very gender neutral for a few reasons: the first is because this house is destined to be a rental so gender neutral will mean we won't turn away potential renters. The second reason is because we might end up in this house longer than planned and need to use the room for more than one baby. Even if we move before baby #2, we can take all the parts and pieces with and still have a gender neutral room. See how clever that is? :)
We also both decided that we didn't want to do anything to "baby" or with too much of a "theme." I always look at rooms full of monkeys and bananas or pink daisies and butterflies and think, "That's really cute! And the kid will agree for the next 2-3 years. And then what?!" We definitely want the room to be fun, quirky, personal, but also calming and simple. It's actually a relatively hard balance to get just right.
Here's what we've come up with so far! (By the way, all images are from Pinterest and should link directly back to their original pins.)
All of our furniture is white except the glider and bookcase. I'm planning on painting the bookcase white to match with a fun pop of color on the back. The glider will stay the dark wood that it is because it's beautiful, mostly covered by cushions, and a complete pain to try and paint.
The walls are going to get beadboard wainscoting about halfway up. The wainscoting and trim will all be painted an off-white. The doors and windows will also get beefed-up trim in the same color.
Above the wainscoting, the walls will be a green of some sort. We're trying to decide what shade of green and probably won't until we find out boy or girl. For a girl, a softer sage is in order and a boy will probably get something a big darker and more saturated like a forest green.
 |
| This is the green I'd use for a girl. |
 |
| And this is the green we'd use for a boy. The wainscoting here is also similar to what we want to do, but the white paint is a little bright in this picture for our tastes. |
 |
| I also like this green for a boy or girl. |
As for fabrics, we both wanted a subdued, but fun print. Our first choice was a special order birch tree fabric that came in almond and white or gray and white but it's waaaaay out of our price range! (And probably a bit serious for a baby's room.) Here it is in almond and white:
 |
| Pretty!! Pretty expensive... |
So what we've settled on is a different birch fabric which I also ADORE and think will make for a much better baby's room when we build around it.
 |
| The winning fabric! |
I think I'll find something in the soft blue to make the crib skirt out of. I also want to make some felt animals to set around the nursery.....
 |
| Aren't they huggable?! |
Finally I'm going to make a pennant or two to string across the corner over the crib out of fabric scraps along the lines of this guy:
It's not safe, in my paranoid mind, to have anything solid above the crib that could fall down, but I think the pennants should be cute and soft, right?
Lastly we'll hang some photos in spray painted frames and leave some empty shadowboxes to be filled at a later date by my creative friends. I'm loving the ones that have the announcement and the outfit baby came home in all arranged artfully in a way I'd never think of like this:
So, there you have all that we have for now! I'm sure there's a lot I'm leaving out, but it'll all come together on its own good time. Like after Christmas when we can afford the tools for the wainscoting and trim, haha.
Gratitude 2012 (week 2)
Here we go with week 2. I'm pretending like I'm NOT so, so many days behind.
14 November 2012: I am grateful for the miracles that science has wrought. It is incredible to me the things that modern medicine can accomplish to make our lives better and even save our lives. Thank you to the men and women who dedicate their lives to being the absolute best at what they do from scientists to doctors to researchers, and everyone in between.
13 November 2012: Today I am acutely grateful for my health. It's not by any means perfect, but it's pretty stellar. My entire life I've been plagued by little things here, and I've let them snowball in my head into a much sadder situation that reality calls for. This pregnancy has been quite the wake-up call. I have had NO morning sickness or other major issues come to light, so I really need to be positive when it comes to my upcoming eye surgery. It's merely a bump in the road. God, thank you for my health, every day, but especially today.
12 November 2012: God, thank you for my husband. He goes above and beyond the duties of husband and even beyond the duties of best friend and life partner. I take him for granted all too often and I need to stop every day and feel blessed.
11 November 2012: Clean water. Clean water when I turn on the faucet, when I grab a Nalgene out of the fridge, and even when I turn on the garden hose. So many people live without clean water and so many die from dirty water. It truly is an amazing thing.
10 November 2012: Sushi!! A healthy, wonderful, delicious vacation for my tastebuds.
9 November 2012: Teachers!! Every day I thank my lucky stars that I had the wonderful, talented, kindhearted teachers that I did. They prepared me physically, mentally, AND emotionally for thriving in the 'adult' world.
8 November 2012: The rain. I know y'all are hating on it out here, already, but it smells good, it's cleansing, and it sure beats shoveling the driveway every morning!
14 November 2012: I am grateful for the miracles that science has wrought. It is incredible to me the things that modern medicine can accomplish to make our lives better and even save our lives. Thank you to the men and women who dedicate their lives to being the absolute best at what they do from scientists to doctors to researchers, and everyone in between.
13 November 2012: Today I am acutely grateful for my health. It's not by any means perfect, but it's pretty stellar. My entire life I've been plagued by little things here, and I've let them snowball in my head into a much sadder situation that reality calls for. This pregnancy has been quite the wake-up call. I have had NO morning sickness or other major issues come to light, so I really need to be positive when it comes to my upcoming eye surgery. It's merely a bump in the road. God, thank you for my health, every day, but especially today.
12 November 2012: God, thank you for my husband. He goes above and beyond the duties of husband and even beyond the duties of best friend and life partner. I take him for granted all too often and I need to stop every day and feel blessed.
11 November 2012: Clean water. Clean water when I turn on the faucet, when I grab a Nalgene out of the fridge, and even when I turn on the garden hose. So many people live without clean water and so many die from dirty water. It truly is an amazing thing.
10 November 2012: Sushi!! A healthy, wonderful, delicious vacation for my tastebuds.
9 November 2012: Teachers!! Every day I thank my lucky stars that I had the wonderful, talented, kindhearted teachers that I did. They prepared me physically, mentally, AND emotionally for thriving in the 'adult' world.
8 November 2012: The rain. I know y'all are hating on it out here, already, but it smells good, it's cleansing, and it sure beats shoveling the driveway every morning!
06 November 2012
Gratuitous Doggy Pictures
Well, I'm having a strange day, emotion-wise, for no reason. To remedy that, I'll make an entire post of just gratuitous dog pictures because it makes me feel better.
 |
| (Ignore the leaning tower of magazines and say "aw" at my snuggly siblings. |
 |
| Barley gives new meaning to the fetal position. |
 |
| They make it sooooo difficult to get out of bed in the morning. |
 |
| "Can we open the package from Grandma?!" |
 |
| Everyone needs a good roll in the dirt. |
 |
| Awkward fat-girl pose. Nice, Barley. |
Grati-tooted (Week 1)
Last year I was horrible about keeping up with my days of gratitude so I thought I'd start this year by making a fart pun. Off to a good start!
7 November 2012: I'm absolutely glad nobody is holding me to this month of gratitude. So far, I've earned a big fat F- for my punctuality.
6 November 2012: Today I'm grateful for our Constitutional rights. So many American wander through life without realizing that people all over the world live without rights that we take for granted.
5 November 2012: I couldn't get through the day without knowing I was coming home to my pups. They are full of love and energy and trust me fully. Zak and Sara were the start of me really growing up.
4 November 2012: On this rainy day, thank you Lord for a roof over my head. And not just a plain roof, but a beautiful, lovely home.
3November 2012: Absolutely, endlessly grateful for the means to have a full pantry and refridgerator. I'm trying my best to never ever take that for granted.
2 November 2012: I'm incredibly grateful for this pregnancy. We were starting to wonder if it was even possible or if storks really were the ones responsible. No matter what happens, I'm excited and blessed that we are going to be parents before 2022!
1 November 2012: I'm grateful for the loving family and friends that surround me, buoy me, and encourage me. My dear husband is the mac to my cheese. My parents and brother are my foundation. And my awesome friends are an endless source of laughter, sunshine, and sushi dates.
7 November 2012: I'm absolutely glad nobody is holding me to this month of gratitude. So far, I've earned a big fat F- for my punctuality.
6 November 2012: Today I'm grateful for our Constitutional rights. So many American wander through life without realizing that people all over the world live without rights that we take for granted.
5 November 2012: I couldn't get through the day without knowing I was coming home to my pups. They are full of love and energy and trust me fully. Zak and Sara were the start of me really growing up.
4 November 2012: On this rainy day, thank you Lord for a roof over my head. And not just a plain roof, but a beautiful, lovely home.
3November 2012: Absolutely, endlessly grateful for the means to have a full pantry and refridgerator. I'm trying my best to never ever take that for granted.
2 November 2012: I'm incredibly grateful for this pregnancy. We were starting to wonder if it was even possible or if storks really were the ones responsible. No matter what happens, I'm excited and blessed that we are going to be parents before 2022!
1 November 2012: I'm grateful for the loving family and friends that surround me, buoy me, and encourage me. My dear husband is the mac to my cheese. My parents and brother are my foundation. And my awesome friends are an endless source of laughter, sunshine, and sushi dates.
03 November 2012
Disposable Diapers are apparently the devil's invention...
I decided a long time ago that disposable diapers were not something we wanted to use except in case of an emergency...today I found this article that has actual sources and I'm firmly set. Cloth systems, here we come!
http://www.smallfootprintfamily.com/dangers-of-disposable-diapers
26 October 2012
Blackberry Cobbler
This recipe is very similar to the one found in "The Pioneer Woman Cooks" by Ree Drummond, which is one of my most favorite cookbooks!
Ingredients:
-1 stick of butter
-1 1/4 plus 2 tbsp sugar
-1 cup milk. We don't keep fresh milk in the house so I use powdered milk and it works just fine.
-2 cups berries. We use fresh picked blackberries and clean them well in a colander. Be sure to let them drip dry.
-1 cup flour
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 1/2 tsp baking powder
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350F and grease a pie pan or 3qt baking dish.
2. Melt the butter. If you aren't experienced with this, do it on a low power setting in small time intervals or it will EXPLODE and make a huge mess. Also, you only need to melt it about 85% of the way and let it sit on the counter. The rest will melt on its own.
3. Sift together the flour, salt, and baking powder. We don't own a sifter so I just mix them together in a large bowl thoroughly.
4. Whisk the milk and 1 cup of sugar with the flour mixture.
5. Whisk in the butter. Pour into your baking dish.
6. Add in the berries.
7. Sprinkle 1/4 cup sugar over the top (it's going to seem like a lot but trust me!) and bake for 50-60 minutes until golden brown. 10 minutes before it's done cooking, top with the last 2 tablespoons of sugar and return to oven.
8. Eat alone or with ice cream!
Ingredients:
-1 stick of butter
-1 1/4 plus 2 tbsp sugar
-1 cup milk. We don't keep fresh milk in the house so I use powdered milk and it works just fine.
-2 cups berries. We use fresh picked blackberries and clean them well in a colander. Be sure to let them drip dry.
-1 cup flour
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 1/2 tsp baking powder
Directions:
1. Preheat oven to 350F and grease a pie pan or 3qt baking dish.
2. Melt the butter. If you aren't experienced with this, do it on a low power setting in small time intervals or it will EXPLODE and make a huge mess. Also, you only need to melt it about 85% of the way and let it sit on the counter. The rest will melt on its own.
3. Sift together the flour, salt, and baking powder. We don't own a sifter so I just mix them together in a large bowl thoroughly.
4. Whisk the milk and 1 cup of sugar with the flour mixture.
5. Whisk in the butter. Pour into your baking dish.
6. Add in the berries.
7. Sprinkle 1/4 cup sugar over the top (it's going to seem like a lot but trust me!) and bake for 50-60 minutes until golden brown. 10 minutes before it's done cooking, top with the last 2 tablespoons of sugar and return to oven.
8. Eat alone or with ice cream!
 |
| Adding the berries before cooking! |
Roast Pumpkin & Pumpkin Chili
Around the Head household, we have a bit of an obsession with pumpkins. We put them all around the house and porch because they are pleasing to look at and we EAT THEM! We brew with them, and we can them. We love pumpkins and squashes in all shapes and sizes and colors. For most people, carving pumpkins is the biggest spotlight they get, but around here, if we are cutting one up, it's to put it in the oven for dinner.
One more little note: don't bother with pie pumpkins unless you don't have the space for leftover pumpkin. Pie pumpkins are usually more expensive and don't taste any better. They do have a lot of seeds, if that's what you're after, and the are a more appropriate serving-size. :)
Roast Pumpkins!
Ingredients:
-Pumpkin
-2 cups water
-Optional: pumpkin spices like salt, pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves
Directions:
1. Cut around the stem, similar to carving a pumpkin. You don't need to make the hole big enough to get your arm in, though. Just remove the stem and compost or throw it away.
2. Slice the pumpkin in halves using the stem-hole as a starting point.
3. Scrape out the goo and seeds with a metal spoon and your hands. You can save the seeds if you're inclined.
4. Place pumpkins cut side-down on a baking sheet or baking pan. Put enough water in the bottom to cover the pan bottom.
5. Roast at 350F for 30-60 minutes. All pumpkins take different amounts of time to cook. It's done with the flesh is pierced with a fork relatively easily. We check at 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and 60 minutes. You can add more water to the pan if it dries up, but if you forget, it won't dry out the pumpkin or ruin it.
6. When it's done, remove from the oven and flip the halves over. We use an oven mitt and big fork to flip them. Let them cool and season and eat!
NOTE: For roasted cubes that we use in the chili, take out when the pumpkin meat is soft when poked but not mushy. Let cool and cube.
You can scrape out the meat and put it in leftover containers. You can also puree it in a blender or with an immersion blender to make better than canned puree.
Pumpkin Chili!
Ingredients:
-1.5 lbs ground meat. I prefer breakfast sausage.
-1 large white onion, chopped
-1 large bell pepper, chopped
-2 cans (15oz) black beans
-1 can (46oz) tomato juice, reduced sodium
-1 can (28oz) peeled and diced tomatoes with juice
-1 can (28oz) pumpkin puree (or homemade stuff! we don't puree it since we like it chunky.)
-2 tbsp chili powder
-1/4 cup white sugar
-2 cloves of garlic, minced
-1/2 tsp each cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg
-1 can (15oz) corn
-Roasted pumpkin chunks from a 3-5lb pumpkin
Directions:
1. In a large dutch oven or soup pot, cook the meat over medium. While the meat cooks, chop the onion and bell pepper. Throw them in and let them cook for 5-6 minutes, until starting to soften.
2. While the veggies cook, drain the corn and rinse the black beans.
3. Stir in everything except the pumpkin chunks and simmer for 30-60 minutes over low heat.
4. Add in pumpkin chunks, simmer 15 minutes, and serve!
One more little note: don't bother with pie pumpkins unless you don't have the space for leftover pumpkin. Pie pumpkins are usually more expensive and don't taste any better. They do have a lot of seeds, if that's what you're after, and the are a more appropriate serving-size. :)
Roast Pumpkins!
Ingredients:
-Pumpkin
-2 cups water
-Optional: pumpkin spices like salt, pepper, cinnamon, nutmeg, ground cloves
Directions:
1. Cut around the stem, similar to carving a pumpkin. You don't need to make the hole big enough to get your arm in, though. Just remove the stem and compost or throw it away.
2. Slice the pumpkin in halves using the stem-hole as a starting point.
3. Scrape out the goo and seeds with a metal spoon and your hands. You can save the seeds if you're inclined.
4. Place pumpkins cut side-down on a baking sheet or baking pan. Put enough water in the bottom to cover the pan bottom.
5. Roast at 350F for 30-60 minutes. All pumpkins take different amounts of time to cook. It's done with the flesh is pierced with a fork relatively easily. We check at 30 minutes, 45 minutes, and 60 minutes. You can add more water to the pan if it dries up, but if you forget, it won't dry out the pumpkin or ruin it.
6. When it's done, remove from the oven and flip the halves over. We use an oven mitt and big fork to flip them. Let them cool and season and eat!
NOTE: For roasted cubes that we use in the chili, take out when the pumpkin meat is soft when poked but not mushy. Let cool and cube.
You can scrape out the meat and put it in leftover containers. You can also puree it in a blender or with an immersion blender to make better than canned puree.
Pumpkin Chili!
Ingredients:
-1.5 lbs ground meat. I prefer breakfast sausage.
-1 large white onion, chopped
-1 large bell pepper, chopped
-2 cans (15oz) black beans
-1 can (46oz) tomato juice, reduced sodium
-1 can (28oz) peeled and diced tomatoes with juice
-1 can (28oz) pumpkin puree (or homemade stuff! we don't puree it since we like it chunky.)
-2 tbsp chili powder
-1/4 cup white sugar
-2 cloves of garlic, minced
-1/2 tsp each cumin, cinnamon, nutmeg
-1 can (15oz) corn
-Roasted pumpkin chunks from a 3-5lb pumpkin
Directions:
1. In a large dutch oven or soup pot, cook the meat over medium. While the meat cooks, chop the onion and bell pepper. Throw them in and let them cook for 5-6 minutes, until starting to soften.
2. While the veggies cook, drain the corn and rinse the black beans.
3. Stir in everything except the pumpkin chunks and simmer for 30-60 minutes over low heat.
4. Add in pumpkin chunks, simmer 15 minutes, and serve!
Love In Many Forms
Well, the baby is really real. (I know that sounds silly, but for the first few months, there really wasn't any indication that I was pregnant other than having to pee all the time!) Now I have a bump to show for it all. :)
A bump and this incredible elation. I feel happy every minute of the day lately. We wanted a baby, not a pregnancy, but a BABY for so very long now. It feels real and it feels soon. Life couldn't be better.
But along with this newfound bump is a newfound exhaustion. I cannot figure out how to get out of bed. I sleep 14-16 hours a day and could keep sleeping!! Somebody told me this would pass with the first trimester but it's only gotten more intense. I have the utmost respect for women with five kids and job who are pregnant. I can't imagine. It makes it easier and easier for me to say we are adopting the rest of our family! :)
On the flip side, this pregnancy has been making me thing an awful lot about my birth mother. First of all, I have to say that she is somebody I rarely, if ever, think about. I have a mom and a dad who are very real and very amazing and very much all that I need. We celebrated my "homecoming" day last weekend and my birth mom didn't even cross my mind. Not at all. That day is and was about a baby and two new parents. It's a day I can't stop anticipating for myself next spring! I've never wanted to meet or investigate my birth mother or know anything about her. The drive has never existed for me until now. Now, I can't stop thinking about how scared she must have felt, how sad she must have felt, and how brave she was. I can't stop thinking about how her pregnancy with me must have been the opposite, emotionally, from what my pregnancy is. I can't stop thinking about how lucky, how fortunate, how blessed I am. I am financially, emotionally, and physically secure. I can't stop thinking about how much happiness this pregnancy has brought me and how she didn't get any of that. I still, strangely, don't want to know her or meet her or anything like that but I am trying very hard to not feel heartbreak for her. I will never take for granted all of the horror she must have endured to give me the opportunity to be here today. I am realizing that despite the fact that she gave me up, she is still a real mom because she made the choice to break her own heart for my well being. And I know it's in my blood to do every thing my children need, whether or not it breaks my own heart.
A bump and this incredible elation. I feel happy every minute of the day lately. We wanted a baby, not a pregnancy, but a BABY for so very long now. It feels real and it feels soon. Life couldn't be better.
But along with this newfound bump is a newfound exhaustion. I cannot figure out how to get out of bed. I sleep 14-16 hours a day and could keep sleeping!! Somebody told me this would pass with the first trimester but it's only gotten more intense. I have the utmost respect for women with five kids and job who are pregnant. I can't imagine. It makes it easier and easier for me to say we are adopting the rest of our family! :)
On the flip side, this pregnancy has been making me thing an awful lot about my birth mother. First of all, I have to say that she is somebody I rarely, if ever, think about. I have a mom and a dad who are very real and very amazing and very much all that I need. We celebrated my "homecoming" day last weekend and my birth mom didn't even cross my mind. Not at all. That day is and was about a baby and two new parents. It's a day I can't stop anticipating for myself next spring! I've never wanted to meet or investigate my birth mother or know anything about her. The drive has never existed for me until now. Now, I can't stop thinking about how scared she must have felt, how sad she must have felt, and how brave she was. I can't stop thinking about how her pregnancy with me must have been the opposite, emotionally, from what my pregnancy is. I can't stop thinking about how lucky, how fortunate, how blessed I am. I am financially, emotionally, and physically secure. I can't stop thinking about how much happiness this pregnancy has brought me and how she didn't get any of that. I still, strangely, don't want to know her or meet her or anything like that but I am trying very hard to not feel heartbreak for her. I will never take for granted all of the horror she must have endured to give me the opportunity to be here today. I am realizing that despite the fact that she gave me up, she is still a real mom because she made the choice to break her own heart for my well being. And I know it's in my blood to do every thing my children need, whether or not it breaks my own heart.
11 October 2012
Grapefruit Baby
Over the past few days, we've realized that we can feel the uterus now, which is really strange overall and also kind of cool...
Before I could feel it, I was just feeling doughy and fat....the growing uterus was pushing things up and out of the way but not actually "showing" yet so I had the honor of feeling fat and wide, but with nothing fun thrown in the mix. Now that the baby is tangible in a small way, I feel better about how ugggghhhh I have been feeling about my physical shape. There's a hard little grapefruit sitting in my pelvis!
Have you ever looked at maternity ads? They are ridiculous. Either the "models" are not really pregnant, or they have issues! They all have perfectly toned and skinny arms and legs with a pert, perfectly round little belly. Their boobs don't look like they're about to explode off of their bodies, and they don't have a constellation of random acne on their cheekbones. Fake, I say, fake!
Speaking of maternity ads, I have decide to buy as little maternity wear as possible. Maybe I'm grossly underestimating how fat and large I really am going to be...we'll see! For now, my jeans fit with extra room. When those don't fit, I have old pairs of 'fat' jeans that should work. And my last resort will be yoga pants and cotton skirts with wide, stretchy waistbands on the bottom. I might end up having to get some preggo leggings to wear underneath, depending on how harsh the winter is here. Or maybe I'll just cut the legs off of my old leggings and wear them like thigh-high leg warmers!?
For tops, I have tons of tops that should fit through most or all of the pregnancy. Empire waisted tops were popular recently so I have lots of those. Most of my t-shirts and long sleeved shirts are extremely stretchy and roomy in the gut.
So, I know that I'm going to have to buy bigger bras, preggo leggings, a warm cardigan or sweater, and something else warm to take place of my winter coat. I'll probably also need to conjure up a preggo raincoat since that's what it does here allllllll the time. Everyone talks about being warm all the time when they're pregnant, but I've sadly been the opposite. I will probably die of hypothermia this winter, on a 40F day, too. Pathetic! :)
Finger's crossed that that's all I'll need! I purposly didn't buget much for maternity wear because I plan on slimming down asap after baby comes, and we don't know if I'm going to be pregnant again, so I do feel like it's sort of a waste of money. Oh, and jeans with stretchy bands at the top creep me out!
04 October 2012
Cheap Rib Recipe
A few months ago, I found pork ribs on sale for a great deal, about $0.80 per pound for spare rib racks. I really didn't have to think too hard about it...I just threw four frozen slabs in my cart and kept going!
Last week we thawed a slab, and I realized I didn't have a good recipe for the pork spare ribs. Usually we spring for the baby back ribs when they are on sale at Costco, and they never fail to turn out tender and amazing. I have tried spare ribs before and they always turn out a little tough. Hmmmm.
Well, the ribs were already thawed, and dear husband was already hungry so I googled "pork spare ribs" and tried the fastest cooking recipe that popped up. My grandmother used to say, "If you starve 'em long enough, they'll eat anything," and I figured by the time the ribs were cooked, husband would be starved long enough to eat them, even if they ended up tough and stringy.
Lo and behold, they turned out awesomely. (Thank goodness!! We still have three slabs in the chest freezer!) Husband finished the leftovers up last night so I'm sure there will be another thawed rack with my name on it soon.
Here's the recipe:
1. Cut the ribs into portion sizes (3-5 rib chunks depending on your crowd). Put in a large pot, cover with water, and boil over medium-high heat for an hour.
2. A half-hour into your boil, mix 1 cup ketchup, 1 cup bbq sauce, 1/2 cup brown sugar, about 2 tablespoons of lemon juice, 2 tablespoons worcestshire sauce, 2 tablespoons steak sauce, a dash of hot sauce, and a clove or two of minced garlic into a small sauce pan. Cook over medium-low or low heat to combine and thicken, about 20 min. Also pre-heat oven to 350F.
3. Put the boiled ribs on a cookie sheet covered in foil and cover with the sauce you just made. I brush it all over to make sure the ribs are well coated.
4. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes.
5. Uncover the foil and bake another 15-20 minutes until the sauce looks dark and thick on the ribs.
6. Remove from oven and cool for 10 minutes. Eat!
21 September 2012
Oh Baby!
Well, I think most of you know by now that we are expecting our first next spring, and we couldn't be happier. I contemplated starting ANOTHER blog just for baby, but I think I'm pushing it with the billion I already have and don't maintain. Oops. I thought I'd start the post with the basic baby news and then switch to our trek to family-hood. :)
THE NEWS: On 20 August, a pee-stick test had two lines and I just about fainted. First I started sobbing, then I ran around pantsless trying to find my phone, and finally, I got dressed and went to the Navy familiy clinic to confirm it. An ultrasound on 5 September gave us a due date of 28 April 2013. We got to see and "hear" the tiny, rapid heartbeat and bring home a picture of the tiny bean. (This weekend it'll be 9 weeks.) We can find out the gender around Thanksgiving and fully plan on doing so. It's still a surprise, just earlier as opposed to later!
THE TREK: Two years ago we decided that I was going to go off the pill and we'd "see what happened." It seemed like great timing: we were finally living together in the same house, we were both done with our bachelor's degrees, and we felt like we had sated our wanderlust at least a little. Shortly after we made this decision, Don deployed for the holidays, and I found out I wasn't pregnant. Was I disappointed? Honestly, no. I wasn't in a rush, I was living the good life, and I didn't want Don to miss out (especially if the first trimester was ugly, haha!) However, another cycle of being home and being deployed came and went, and I honestly started to wonder if my system was working. I scheduled my annual checkups and talked to my Navy doctors and was assured that I was extremely young and to just give it time. What they failed to understand is that my overactive brain cared less about being pregnant and more about knowing nothing serious was broken or wrong. Sadly, if you are young and healthy, the Navy medicine system won't give you a second glance. Fast forward several months, through another holiday cycle to the start of this year, 2012. A year and half of trying had come and gone, and it was finally starting to really "get" to me. By this point, all I wanted was a baby in my arms. Forget the miracle of being pregnant and all of that, just hand me a baby!
I needed to stay busy and keep moving forward. Luckily I was never one to feel jealous when I saw other pregnant women (they actually made me feel sad because they waddled and looked uncomfortable!) but I was starting to feel sensitive when I watched Teen Mom or other shows like that. These girls get pregnant at the drop of a hat and it's not something they want. We found out in January that Don had orders to stay in the area for another two years so I found us a wonderful house and we bought it, moved in, and have been working on the never ending to-do list since. It has been fullfilling, maddening, and awesome to be home owners.
In May, Don rotate off of sea duty to shore duty and we started to seriously consider adoption. The more research I did, the more my heart hurt. I cried a lot. A typical private adoption, besides costing thousands of dollars, was not really an opton because we needed to be able to guarantee we could stay in-state through the adoption and up to a year after. Considering an average adoption takes 24-36 months, this was something we had no way of guaranteeing as a Navy family.
And really up until August, we were in contact with DCFS, trying to find out if local adoption was an option for us. I had decided a few months ago that I wasn't willing to go to extraordinary lengths to get pregnant; three or four rounds of Clomid and that's it. No hormone therapy or IVF or anything. I had faith and still have faith that we will become a family in the perfect way, however it happens, without the use of dangerous and ineffective procedures. I don't know how I got "lucky" enough to not have a huge pregnancy drive so this was an easy decision for us as a family. I can't imagine wanting to be pregnant more than anything!
On Sunday, 19 August, I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I had been reviewing adoption information all week and feeling really homonal. We climbed into bed that night and I just had a solid cry. Don rubbed my back and listened (something he would medal in at the Listening Olympics!!) and just let me feel full of despair. If my system was broken, we would potentially have to wait years to adopt. Of course I was willing to wait, but it still stung. We decided that I would take a pregnancy test the next morning if I was feeling emotionally up to it since I hadn't taken one in some time. I used to take them every 5 weeks or so just to make sure I wasn't missing anything...
And sure enough, those two lines appeared, as plain as day.
We have decided to share our news, eventhough it is probably much earlier than most people prefer and here's why: I am a very open, emotional person. My biggest happiness so far from this pregnancy is knowing that I can even be pregnant. Losing this baby early on would darn near kill me, but it's not something I want to hide. It's easier for me for everyone to know that I'm pregnant so that if something happens, people can understand why I'm down and out for a few months. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but I can make it logical in my head. :)
We can't agree on names for boys or girls yet, so the baby is currently named "Chomper" after the t-rex in the move "Land Before Time." Not sure exactly how that came about, but for now, it's the nom de jour.
31 August 2012
Butterflies and Other Mushy Love Stuff
Just allow me this post to brag a little, ok? :) Today I realized that we are not too far away from celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary, and I just have no idea where the time went. It's gone by in a flash, and I have to say that I've enjoyed almost every minute of it. Somehow the stars aligned to give me the most perfect husband for me.
Somebody asked me a few weeks ago what the "building blocks" or foundations of my relationship were and if there were any that I'd like to add. I was completely speechless. It's a fabulous question and one that needed some ruminating on my part before I could answer. So far, I believe our foundations are: laughter, trust, vulnerability, empathy, and romance.
LAUGHTER: we laugh a lot. Anyone who has visited knows that between the dogs, spur of the moment nerf gun fights, Don's juggling, and my inability to filter my thoughts means we are endlessly (and sometimes inappropriately) laughing. Laughter always feels good. It creates a bond when you laugh with someone (even the stranger standing in line with you!) The day we can no longer laugh together will be the day before we head to counseling, I think.
TRUST: I trust Don implicitly. He is the only person in my adult life who I tell anything and everything to with no fear or trepidation. The worst thing I ever had to tell him (involving a rather large money mistake on my part) made my palms sweat but it was on the table. He is an incredibly good listener, problem solver, and team mate, and he is always on my side even if he is furious.
VULNERABILITY: somewhat related to trust...we all have flaws, weaknesses, issues. I have more than some. Just last week he came home and told me that Lowes has their scary Halloween decorations up already (something that causes a nearly instant panic attack in me) and he is understanding when there are things that I just cannot do sometimes because of anxiety.
EMPATHY: I think some people file this under "tolerance" but I believe the two are very different. Tolerance, to me, has a negative connotation; it feels like you are just standing by while something unpleasant unfolds. Empathy, for us, is trying to understand where the other party is coming from so that you can support them. There are definitely things we each do that drive each other absolutely crazy. Some of them are completely unnecessary while others are a product of exhaustion or misunderstanding. It makes me less insane to pick up dirty socks that are strewn all over the house when I stop and realize that he's had those socks and boots on since 7am.
ROMANCE: I like to think we do lots of small gestures for each other that keep that little flame glowing. Lately, Don's been reading the weird baby books I brought home and making me tea every evening exactly the way I like it. (It involves a timer and a spoon and a certain mug. Yes, he's a saint.) But there are bigger, perhaps less obviously romantic things that he does. He has spent hours and hours researching cars and refrigerators which are our next big purchases. Hours. He emails me links, leaves pages open for me to browse, and researches the heck out of everything.
I think I'll wait until the next post to talk about some of the ones I'd like to add since I have a huge to do list to attend to!
Somebody asked me a few weeks ago what the "building blocks" or foundations of my relationship were and if there were any that I'd like to add. I was completely speechless. It's a fabulous question and one that needed some ruminating on my part before I could answer. So far, I believe our foundations are: laughter, trust, vulnerability, empathy, and romance.
LAUGHTER: we laugh a lot. Anyone who has visited knows that between the dogs, spur of the moment nerf gun fights, Don's juggling, and my inability to filter my thoughts means we are endlessly (and sometimes inappropriately) laughing. Laughter always feels good. It creates a bond when you laugh with someone (even the stranger standing in line with you!) The day we can no longer laugh together will be the day before we head to counseling, I think.
TRUST: I trust Don implicitly. He is the only person in my adult life who I tell anything and everything to with no fear or trepidation. The worst thing I ever had to tell him (involving a rather large money mistake on my part) made my palms sweat but it was on the table. He is an incredibly good listener, problem solver, and team mate, and he is always on my side even if he is furious.
VULNERABILITY: somewhat related to trust...we all have flaws, weaknesses, issues. I have more than some. Just last week he came home and told me that Lowes has their scary Halloween decorations up already (something that causes a nearly instant panic attack in me) and he is understanding when there are things that I just cannot do sometimes because of anxiety.
EMPATHY: I think some people file this under "tolerance" but I believe the two are very different. Tolerance, to me, has a negative connotation; it feels like you are just standing by while something unpleasant unfolds. Empathy, for us, is trying to understand where the other party is coming from so that you can support them. There are definitely things we each do that drive each other absolutely crazy. Some of them are completely unnecessary while others are a product of exhaustion or misunderstanding. It makes me less insane to pick up dirty socks that are strewn all over the house when I stop and realize that he's had those socks and boots on since 7am.
ROMANCE: I like to think we do lots of small gestures for each other that keep that little flame glowing. Lately, Don's been reading the weird baby books I brought home and making me tea every evening exactly the way I like it. (It involves a timer and a spoon and a certain mug. Yes, he's a saint.) But there are bigger, perhaps less obviously romantic things that he does. He has spent hours and hours researching cars and refrigerators which are our next big purchases. Hours. He emails me links, leaves pages open for me to browse, and researches the heck out of everything.
I think I'll wait until the next post to talk about some of the ones I'd like to add since I have a huge to do list to attend to!
13 February 2012
12 February 2012
How Can It Only Be Sunday?!
Alright, dear friends. I have a house update for you. I know that I'm the only person on the entire planet who has ever purchase a house so tear yourself away from your children and responsibilities for this gripping update!
On Friday I went to the house for a second time with our Realtor, Nicole and a family friend. Our friend is very knowledgeable when it comes to fixing up houses. Also, this friend is very tall and can see things far beyond the realm of my 60 inch tall frame.
It felt, in the sappiest sense, TOTALLY AWESOME to pull up the house for a second time. I could see myself "coming home" there every day for a long time. There are some terrible hedges in the front that look like green huffalumps and completely block out the front door, but those are fixable, aka going to be torn out!
Friend did not find anything majorly wrong. Obviously they aren't a home inspector, but I was so giddy walking through both times that I could easily see how I would miss something big. A second check was just comforting.
So, Nicole made time for me on Saturday morning to come in and submit an offer!! I did not sleep a wink on Friday night. Ok, I did, but only for a little bit.
Saturday morning, I headed over there and we drafted it up. Nicole spent a few hours explaining everything to me and then I signed a thousand and one pages and we sent it off. Sending off an offer is an amazing high. I was sooo wound up that I walked through Best Buy for an hour trying to calm myself down. (And to open every single refrigerator, oven, washer, AND dryer!!)
I ended up going to dinner with one of my best friends and her son and we had a great time. Afterwards we were going to get generic valentines for her son but we got Tootsie pops and hot glue instead...and made SUPER HERO valentines. Yes, they are absolutely amazing. And yes, I found the idea on Pinterest!! Bubba and I cut out little Zorro-like masks and hot glued them on the sucker. We also cut out capes and glued them on too. The capes all have little red hearts and say, "You're a SUPER Valentine!!" They are insanely cute and surprisingly easy. No, I did not enjoy cutting out 35 masks, but Bubba did a great job helping...he cut out capes, etc.
Now I am home. I just turned on the tea kettle for some tea. I just looked at the calendar and I SWEAR it has to be Monday already. Right!?!? No, it's sadly 1am on Sunday. The seller has until Wednesday to respond to our offer. I think I'll have rattled my foot and knee up and down hard enough to give myself whiplash if I don't die of anxiety before then.
On Friday I went to the house for a second time with our Realtor, Nicole and a family friend. Our friend is very knowledgeable when it comes to fixing up houses. Also, this friend is very tall and can see things far beyond the realm of my 60 inch tall frame.
It felt, in the sappiest sense, TOTALLY AWESOME to pull up the house for a second time. I could see myself "coming home" there every day for a long time. There are some terrible hedges in the front that look like green huffalumps and completely block out the front door, but those are fixable, aka going to be torn out!
Friend did not find anything majorly wrong. Obviously they aren't a home inspector, but I was so giddy walking through both times that I could easily see how I would miss something big. A second check was just comforting.
So, Nicole made time for me on Saturday morning to come in and submit an offer!! I did not sleep a wink on Friday night. Ok, I did, but only for a little bit.
Saturday morning, I headed over there and we drafted it up. Nicole spent a few hours explaining everything to me and then I signed a thousand and one pages and we sent it off. Sending off an offer is an amazing high. I was sooo wound up that I walked through Best Buy for an hour trying to calm myself down. (And to open every single refrigerator, oven, washer, AND dryer!!)
I ended up going to dinner with one of my best friends and her son and we had a great time. Afterwards we were going to get generic valentines for her son but we got Tootsie pops and hot glue instead...and made SUPER HERO valentines. Yes, they are absolutely amazing. And yes, I found the idea on Pinterest!! Bubba and I cut out little Zorro-like masks and hot glued them on the sucker. We also cut out capes and glued them on too. The capes all have little red hearts and say, "You're a SUPER Valentine!!" They are insanely cute and surprisingly easy. No, I did not enjoy cutting out 35 masks, but Bubba did a great job helping...he cut out capes, etc.
Now I am home. I just turned on the tea kettle for some tea. I just looked at the calendar and I SWEAR it has to be Monday already. Right!?!? No, it's sadly 1am on Sunday. The seller has until Wednesday to respond to our offer. I think I'll have rattled my foot and knee up and down hard enough to give myself whiplash if I don't die of anxiety before then.
10 February 2012
Midnight Rant
Here is the exact copy/paste of a blog post my sister in law showed me:
The blog is titled "Army Wife, Army Life" and the post is titled "Stirring the Pot..."
And here is my response:
First and foremost, there are so many factual errors about the Guard and Army in the post that I almost want to just dismiss it.
Next, this is a matter of pride. For some reason, you can't understand that there isn't a limited amount of pride out there. You can be proud of your husband and his service without trying to take it away from others. Those ladies are just a proud of their husbands as you are and they DESERVE it as much as you do. You do not need to take away a ridiculous title of "army wife" to have it mean more when you parade it.
Why does it matter what they call themselves? Why does it matter if people understand what your husband's "real" job and title are? It all comes down to pride. Let it go. You have a baby on the way. The world has never revolved around you, and once that child comes, the world is going to keep you awake at night, puke down your back, and SCREAM its mad little head off at your husband's next pinning ceremony.
I think it's incredibly rude that you would suggest that after one deployment, Guardsmen don't re-up so they don't have to re-deploy. If that's how you feel, then OK, but you have nothing to support it and it's a terrible assumption to throw out there. In fact, it's slander.
I haven't mentioned it yet, but I am a NAVY WIFE and my husband is currently deployed. I have a question: A few years ago, we lived in an extremely rural area. My husband went to work in civilian clothes and worked a job that was basically a civilian job. He was home every night and there was no chance of him deploying. He drilled only a few days a month. During this time period, was I not a NAVY WIFE?
I think it's disgusting how you say Guard wives are slovenly, etc. You are DEAD wrong. There is no correlation between spouse behavior and branch of service. I can tell you there is a HUGE correlation between spouse behavior and level of education and time in the military.
My husband has been in for ten years and we have gone through deployments with Navy wives, Army wives, Marine wives, SEAL wives, SpecOp Wives, Air Force wives, Coast Guard wives, civilian contractor wives. I can tell you that not a single group stood out as worse than another. It was the new, young, uneducated wives who behaved as you described and they were few and far between.
It is nobody's job to be a direct reflection of their spouse. Some husbands like it that way...that is between them and their marriage vows. My husband loves me as is. I do things that would absolutely not be OK if I was in the military, and he loves me as is. He comes home after an 18 hour work day to a normal household where he can relax and forget that he's in the military for a tiny bit.
It is absolutely up to the service member to respect his uniform rules. If his lady is being lovey dovey, he is the one who needs to let her know. She did not go to BT. She does not know the rules. Shame on the husband for not respecting the uniform rules enough to gently let his wife know what is and isn't allowed. If he likes having a tongue in his mouth while in uniform, it's none of your business. It's up to his command to deal with him. It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you. Furthermore, I will do whatever I want IN my husband's uniform if it makes him and me happy. There is nothing wrong with that...again, it's none of your business.
So why are you holding these "Not Army Wives" to Army Wife standards? If you think that moving someplace closer to post when your husband gets restationed will make things better, girl, you and your husband have a lot to learn. Closer to post means more very young enlisted families who will behave worse than you have seen yet.
We have gone to many, many events with people in my husband's chain of command who are MUCH higher than a 1SG. I can tell you that sitting quietly and being "demure" is incredibly boring and not at all what is expected or warranted. Your husband's command wants to see that he has an enigmatic wife next to him who is strong enough to hold her own when he's gone. There is nothing worse than having one of your men with issues back home during deployment. Wives are the backbone of the military. You hear it over and over again. Why would you want wives to sit at functions and act like they have no backbone?
When that babe comes, you are going to want all the help you can get. You could've been building up a GREAT net of women but you have been turning them away instead. Like you said, most of the wives there are Guard wives and you have just made yourself into a lonely little island.
Much of your post WAS incredibly disrespectful. It is up to us wives to stick together and to help hold each other up. If you want to be proudly called an Army Wife then it's time to stop tearing others down. A true Army Wife would ask that Guard wife how her husband's PTSD treatment was going or if she needed any help getting ready for the next deployment. By telling them they are not Army Wives you put an extremely bitter taste in their mouth for ALL active duty wives. You have done us a GREAT disservice. I know you have been an Army Wife for less than a year...hopefully a few more years will help you stop being so nosy and selfish. Or, at the very least, hopefully time will teach you how to keep those thoughts to yourself or learn how to convey them in a respectful manner.
The blog is titled "Army Wife, Army Life" and the post is titled "Stirring the Pot..."
I want to preface this entire post by saying that this is my blog. I feel that that gives me the right to express my opinion on whatever matters I see fit, if you don't agree with something that I'm saying, they make a couple handy little buttons. One is a red 'x' in the upper right hand corner, feel free to click it, it won't hurt my feelings. That being said...
Living in Vermont, there isn't a very strong Active Duty Military presence. 90% of the military influence around here comes from the Vermont National Guard. Oftentimes when I explain that my husband is in the Army, people automatically assume he is in the Guard. It's an easy assumption. We don't have an Army base here, we have Camp Johnson, a National Guard base. The Guard ACUs are almost exactly the same as AD Army, and many civilians (and myself) don't understand a lot of the differences in company patches. The Hubs was still assigned here, and we are still going to be sent away from here. If he hadn't been here, I wouldn't have met him. As a recruiter, he is still Active Duty. This is where my rant (of sorts) begins.
The Vermont National Guard is just that, they are State Militia. The Hubs is a federal soldier. The National Guard spouses around here like to refer to themselves as 'Army Wives'. They aren't. I respect their significant others for the things that they do, but they are not, by any stretch of the imagination, soldiers. That being said, the Hubs is not a Marine, he is not a Sailor, he is not an Airman. He is a Soldier. A dog is not a cat, it'll never meow.
When you try to explain this to a Guard spouse, they get defensive, and often times throw a huge fit.
My husband is a soldier, he got deployed, just like yours!
I agree, your husband got deployed just like mine, but when he came home, he got to go back to a normal civilian life. When my husband got home, he still had to put on his ACUs and go to work, as a soldier.
I agree, your husband got deployed, just like mine, but when he came home, he knew he wouldn't get deployed again for at least another four years, in which time he probably wouldn't have re-upped his contract. When my husband got home, he knew he could turn around and get deployed again. Period.
My husband is a soldier, he has to go to drill!
Yup. One weekend a month, two weeks a year.
My husband is a soldier, he has PTSD!
I'm so proud to say that the Hubs has been through 2 deployments, and his mind is as solid as a rock. What Guard spouses seem to not realize, is that A LOT of other people, who have nothing to do with the military, have PTSD. It's a horrible, horrible thing to deal with, and I would never wish it on anybody, but just because he has PTSD, doesn't automatically file him in the 'soldier' category.
I can argue your points all day if you want.
I guess what I'm trying to get at here, is that I would really like people to stop jumping down my throat when I tell them that they are not an Army Wife. I'm not trying to imply that you're any less of a person. I'm not trying to imply that your husband is any less of a man. I applaud him for what he did, if he got deployed, and I respect him for that. I applaud him for the time that he does give up, on his one weekend a month, two weeks a year. I applaud him for going through BT and AIT. He is a member of the Guard, 100%, there is no denying it. He is not a soldier, you are not an Army wife. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I'm just trying to point out the blatant differences between a Vermont Guard member, and a United States Soldier.
The second part of my rant is this.
As I said before, Vermont Guard is a State Militia... that still comes with responsibility, in uniform and out. As soon as he opens his mouth about being a part of ANY type of military presence, or dons his uniform, he has to realize that. That's part of what they bash into their heads at BT.
Part of YOUR job as a spouse, is to be a direct reflection of him. That means getting your facts straight, and getting educated.
- Respect OPSEC and PERSEC when your husband is deployed. I see none of this when a Vermont Guard wife has a deployed husband.
- Respect the higher ranks. When I met my husband's 1SG, I made sure to put my best foot forward. I put on a nice outfit, did my hair, and put makeup on my face. Used manners; ma'am, sir, please, and thank you. I sat quietly and spoke only when addressed. If I had a question, I waited for a break in the conversation, and said 'Excuse me.' It's simple really. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses get together for an event with their spouses.
- Respect your husband when he's in uniform. Just because my husband and I aren't on post when he's in his uniform, I keep the 'handling' to a minimum. Technically, you aren't even supposed to hold hands with him when he's in uniform. I keep a hand on the Hub's elbow, or not at all. I don't sit on his lap, I don't make out with him, we hardly kiss for that matter. I see none of this when Vermont Guard spouses are together.
- Respect the uniform itself. Don't put it on and take sexy pictures with it, with boobs/butt falling out all over the place. That's just trashy. A fun picture with his cover on is one thing, flaunting your assests is another.
It burns my biscuits when these spouses, who so loudly (and rudely) insist that they are 'Army wives' can't even handle these simple types of things, that go along with being an actual Army wife. You're just making yourself and your spouse look bad.
I just want to re-state, that I'm not posting this to be disrespectful. My Uncle served in the NH National Guard, and did a tour in Iraq. I'm so proud of him for it! He wore the uniform well, and with pride. He isn't any less of a person because he wasn't active duty for the 4 years that he served. Be proud of your spouses for what they do, no matter if they are a soldier, member of the Guard, lawyer, doctor, or burger flipper at McDonald's. Spend less time trying to make yourself into something that you're not, and more time respecting others for what they are. You'll be a lot happier for it, I promise.
And here is my response:
First and foremost, there are so many factual errors about the Guard and Army in the post that I almost want to just dismiss it.
Next, this is a matter of pride. For some reason, you can't understand that there isn't a limited amount of pride out there. You can be proud of your husband and his service without trying to take it away from others. Those ladies are just a proud of their husbands as you are and they DESERVE it as much as you do. You do not need to take away a ridiculous title of "army wife" to have it mean more when you parade it.
Why does it matter what they call themselves? Why does it matter if people understand what your husband's "real" job and title are? It all comes down to pride. Let it go. You have a baby on the way. The world has never revolved around you, and once that child comes, the world is going to keep you awake at night, puke down your back, and SCREAM its mad little head off at your husband's next pinning ceremony.
I think it's incredibly rude that you would suggest that after one deployment, Guardsmen don't re-up so they don't have to re-deploy. If that's how you feel, then OK, but you have nothing to support it and it's a terrible assumption to throw out there. In fact, it's slander.
I haven't mentioned it yet, but I am a NAVY WIFE and my husband is currently deployed. I have a question: A few years ago, we lived in an extremely rural area. My husband went to work in civilian clothes and worked a job that was basically a civilian job. He was home every night and there was no chance of him deploying. He drilled only a few days a month. During this time period, was I not a NAVY WIFE?
I think it's disgusting how you say Guard wives are slovenly, etc. You are DEAD wrong. There is no correlation between spouse behavior and branch of service. I can tell you there is a HUGE correlation between spouse behavior and level of education and time in the military.
My husband has been in for ten years and we have gone through deployments with Navy wives, Army wives, Marine wives, SEAL wives, SpecOp Wives, Air Force wives, Coast Guard wives, civilian contractor wives. I can tell you that not a single group stood out as worse than another. It was the new, young, uneducated wives who behaved as you described and they were few and far between.
It is nobody's job to be a direct reflection of their spouse. Some husbands like it that way...that is between them and their marriage vows. My husband loves me as is. I do things that would absolutely not be OK if I was in the military, and he loves me as is. He comes home after an 18 hour work day to a normal household where he can relax and forget that he's in the military for a tiny bit.
It is absolutely up to the service member to respect his uniform rules. If his lady is being lovey dovey, he is the one who needs to let her know. She did not go to BT. She does not know the rules. Shame on the husband for not respecting the uniform rules enough to gently let his wife know what is and isn't allowed. If he likes having a tongue in his mouth while in uniform, it's none of your business. It's up to his command to deal with him. It has ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you. Furthermore, I will do whatever I want IN my husband's uniform if it makes him and me happy. There is nothing wrong with that...again, it's none of your business.
So why are you holding these "Not Army Wives" to Army Wife standards? If you think that moving someplace closer to post when your husband gets restationed will make things better, girl, you and your husband have a lot to learn. Closer to post means more very young enlisted families who will behave worse than you have seen yet.
We have gone to many, many events with people in my husband's chain of command who are MUCH higher than a 1SG. I can tell you that sitting quietly and being "demure" is incredibly boring and not at all what is expected or warranted. Your husband's command wants to see that he has an enigmatic wife next to him who is strong enough to hold her own when he's gone. There is nothing worse than having one of your men with issues back home during deployment. Wives are the backbone of the military. You hear it over and over again. Why would you want wives to sit at functions and act like they have no backbone?
When that babe comes, you are going to want all the help you can get. You could've been building up a GREAT net of women but you have been turning them away instead. Like you said, most of the wives there are Guard wives and you have just made yourself into a lonely little island.
Much of your post WAS incredibly disrespectful. It is up to us wives to stick together and to help hold each other up. If you want to be proudly called an Army Wife then it's time to stop tearing others down. A true Army Wife would ask that Guard wife how her husband's PTSD treatment was going or if she needed any help getting ready for the next deployment. By telling them they are not Army Wives you put an extremely bitter taste in their mouth for ALL active duty wives. You have done us a GREAT disservice. I know you have been an Army Wife for less than a year...hopefully a few more years will help you stop being so nosy and selfish. Or, at the very least, hopefully time will teach you how to keep those thoughts to yourself or learn how to convey them in a respectful manner.
How to Buy a House...the short version
It turns out the very first step is to research different types of home loans and determine which one(s) might work for you. In our case, I found we could go with a "Conventional" or "VA". A "Conventional" loan is your average, vanilla mortgage. Put money down and make monthly payments. The "VA" loan is only for those who qualify via military service, etc. What is awesome about the VA loan is that it requires no down payment.
The next step was to find a loan servicer. I ended up choosing between USAA (who we adore) and Veterans United. VU gave me better initial service so I went with them. It definitely wasn't the most informed choice I've ever made, but I stand by it and believe it was the right one still.
The third step is to contact the servicer and begin the process. It starts by giving them basic information via the internet or the phone so they can decide if you are even a candidate for a loan. After they decided we were, they set up an appointment for me to meet with a local loan offer who sat down with me and explained, step by step, what was to come. She also taught me how to read all of the important documents, collected other paperwork from me like pay stubs and W-2s, and had me sign a boatload of paperwork.
The papers I signed and the papers I gave her let the VU firmly establish whether or not they'd lend to us and exactly how much. After much back and forth, the issued us a PreQualification Letter! A big delay came from the fact that Don is currently deployed and un-contactable. Using our Power of Attorney and some old fashioned charm, they issued the letter. It's a very simple letter that states how much you are approved to borrow and has some contingencies that would cause the servicer to rescind their offer including a home appraisal and no termites on the property.
The best step so far has been the actual house hunting. We love our realtor and she has shown us some awesome places. Be very careful when picking your realtor and NEVER use the same realtor who is listing the house. Out here, the listing realtor (the one representing the seller) makes a 6% commission and then splits that with your buying realtor.
The thing about house hunting is you KNOW the house when you find it. But. Then you have to keep your guard up because you might not end up being able to buy it. It's a fine line to walk!
I found THE house!! A family friend is going through it with me tomorrow to make sure nothing bad jumps out. If he says go, then we are going to be making an offer. I'm sooooooooo wound up about this, if it's not obvious. I know that we still have a long way to go but this is starting to feel very real in a very good way.
Wish me luck! I'll keep updating.
House Crazy
Well, we found out in early January that we are staying here for the next few years. Initially, I was pretty torn. One one hand I really hoped to get as close to the mid-west as I could. I've had my share of the West Cost. When we first moved out here, it was as foreign to me as Downtown Beijing. On the other hand, I've acclimated and found my niche here. I have top-shelf friends, I finally am confident enough to go without my GPS, I have my favorite yoga studio, my favorite cafe, my favorite running routes. I have the farmer's market schedules memorized, and my sushi chef knows my order and name by heart. Yes, I know I'm starting to sound like a Seattle granola hippie environmentalist person/thing. Some people complain endlessly about the weather but I used it as an excuse to buy cute rain boots. What on earth would my husband say if we had to move someplace dry? (Let's be honest, he wouldn't say anything. He'd roll his eye and as he walked away, he'd say something about me being crazy to one of the pups.)
So, here we are! Ta-da! As much as I love learning new cities and new people, there is immense comfort in knowing I get to stay in my comfort zone, literally.
I can't make it easy on myself though. The place we live in now is a veeeeeery small house. We're not talking Somalian-hut-small. We're talking small for a spoiled American girl who lives with three dogs, a husband, and has many hobbies. We're talking "bring in the mail and groceries and fold a load of laundry and suddenly there are no flat surfaces to behold" small. And we are also trying to start a family...therein lies the problem. Where would said baby go? Literally, I think I'd have to change the child ON THE STOVE. Maybe if the stove was in use I could open the oven and use the oven door. The shower could be converted into a playpen/crib area. And as long as baby is happy playing with dog toys, we are set there. So, yes, I absolutely could make it work. Probably, though, I'd be raising the next Charles Manson or Britney Spears so I think I'll pass.
After some research, I was pretty stunned to discover that it is currently much cheaper for us to BUY a house (so adult like!) than for us to rent something that is in the right neighborhood with a fenced yard that allows pets.
I promptly set out to buy a house. If you can imagine a blind man in an obstacle course trying to play laser tag with a flying squirrel, then you can imagine how well I set out to buy a house. I had no IDEA where to even start. (Oh, and if you are wondering too, whatever you do, DON'T GOOGLE "HOW TO BUY A HOUSE"!!!!)
So, here we are! Ta-da! As much as I love learning new cities and new people, there is immense comfort in knowing I get to stay in my comfort zone, literally.
I can't make it easy on myself though. The place we live in now is a veeeeeery small house. We're not talking Somalian-hut-small. We're talking small for a spoiled American girl who lives with three dogs, a husband, and has many hobbies. We're talking "bring in the mail and groceries and fold a load of laundry and suddenly there are no flat surfaces to behold" small. And we are also trying to start a family...therein lies the problem. Where would said baby go? Literally, I think I'd have to change the child ON THE STOVE. Maybe if the stove was in use I could open the oven and use the oven door. The shower could be converted into a playpen/crib area. And as long as baby is happy playing with dog toys, we are set there. So, yes, I absolutely could make it work. Probably, though, I'd be raising the next Charles Manson or Britney Spears so I think I'll pass.
After some research, I was pretty stunned to discover that it is currently much cheaper for us to BUY a house (so adult like!) than for us to rent something that is in the right neighborhood with a fenced yard that allows pets.
I promptly set out to buy a house. If you can imagine a blind man in an obstacle course trying to play laser tag with a flying squirrel, then you can imagine how well I set out to buy a house. I had no IDEA where to even start. (Oh, and if you are wondering too, whatever you do, DON'T GOOGLE "HOW TO BUY A HOUSE"!!!!)
08 February 2012
Boys & their Things
Here is a random and slightly inappropriate thought:
Boys don't care about privacy until they hit puberty. Before, you can barely get them to leave their junk alone. After, it all becomes Top Secret. Ironically, we all know what the TOP SECRET is.
I'm pretty happy to be a nanny for a GIRL now after having three BOYS. There are no tiny penises or testicles constantly in my face.
Boys don't care about privacy until they hit puberty. Before, you can barely get them to leave their junk alone. After, it all becomes Top Secret. Ironically, we all know what the TOP SECRET is.
I'm pretty happy to be a nanny for a GIRL now after having three BOYS. There are no tiny penises or testicles constantly in my face.
Shaken
I'm watching "Extreme Makeover Home Edition". The family they are helping is the Gibbs family. The husband and wife had 6 children and then the husband passed away suddenly from cancer with all of the kids under the age of 10. The kids are now mostly grown and the youngest have few memories of their father.
This episode has really shaken me to the core. I've ALWAYS struggled with this insecurity that everything and everyone I love will leave me before I'm ready. I think that being married to a submariner who deploys constantly has helped me build up a callous around this fear, but this show truly highlighted it. I so want a huge family with the man of my dreams. I found him. What happens if we get the huge family and something happens to him? How will I cope emotionally, financially, and mentally? I 100% know that I have to have faith and not let this fear cripple me or scare me out of what we want as a family, but it's terrifying and will probably always be in the back of my mind. I'm not sure how to cope with this insecurity other than to stuff it down. Is this a fear that anyone really ever completely comes to terms with?
This episode has really shaken me to the core. I've ALWAYS struggled with this insecurity that everything and everyone I love will leave me before I'm ready. I think that being married to a submariner who deploys constantly has helped me build up a callous around this fear, but this show truly highlighted it. I so want a huge family with the man of my dreams. I found him. What happens if we get the huge family and something happens to him? How will I cope emotionally, financially, and mentally? I 100% know that I have to have faith and not let this fear cripple me or scare me out of what we want as a family, but it's terrifying and will probably always be in the back of my mind. I'm not sure how to cope with this insecurity other than to stuff it down. Is this a fear that anyone really ever completely comes to terms with?
08 January 2012
Drive Away
I'm sitting in the kitchen of my parents' house as I type. This is the house I grew up. The house so familiar to me that I not only navigate it in the dark, but I am able to tell you what every creak, squeak, and thump means.
This is the house where I waited as an anxious teenager for the phone to ring (no cell phones back then...) This is the house where mother nursed me back to health on my sick days and dad grounded me for acting out.
This is the house where my family gathers around the kitchen table to feast on meals fit for royalty. This is the house where things change slowly and some days, I'd like them to not change at all.
Most importantly, this is the safest house I know, the house that beckons me home, the house that holds my mom's soft hug and my dad's bear hug and my brother's ropy, muscly hug. This is the little light house that I never have to scan the horizon for because my heart always knows where to find it.
This is the house, the home, the place, and these are the people, the family, the loved ones that I have to drive away from tomorrow.
It never gets easier. No, no, it never does. Because, you see, after each goodbye, before the next hello, time passes. This expired time holds sunrises, laughter, minor spats, and bushels of laughter that we spend very much apart. Life goes on and we miss out. Life goes on and life runs out. I make a concentrated effort to not fixate on this, to not dwell, but it sticks to the back of my skull and makes me more and more anxious to be home with every day that passes.
We grow up and they send us out into the fascinating world to make a life of our own. But how can anyone expect for me to find anything that can compare to the nest I just left? Not in a million years could any house I create provide love, security, acceptance, and that general sense of just-belonging as my childhood home. Who are we kidding? Little birds don't want to be pushed out of the nest to fly for a reason. Is this what growing up is? To strive every day to carve a life that fits as well as the one we abandoned?
How lucky I am to have a family that I cannot possibly not miss constantly. How lucky I am to be able to come home to them so often and not miss out on our life. How blessed I am to have my old nest to fly home to in times of hurt, in times of joy, in times of celebration.
I love you, family. We are normal and abnormal by all written standards, and I wouldn't want it any other way. We are best under the same roof, but we will love each other and plan well for the next time.
This is the house where I waited as an anxious teenager for the phone to ring (no cell phones back then...) This is the house where mother nursed me back to health on my sick days and dad grounded me for acting out.
This is the house where my family gathers around the kitchen table to feast on meals fit for royalty. This is the house where things change slowly and some days, I'd like them to not change at all.
Most importantly, this is the safest house I know, the house that beckons me home, the house that holds my mom's soft hug and my dad's bear hug and my brother's ropy, muscly hug. This is the little light house that I never have to scan the horizon for because my heart always knows where to find it.
This is the house, the home, the place, and these are the people, the family, the loved ones that I have to drive away from tomorrow.
It never gets easier. No, no, it never does. Because, you see, after each goodbye, before the next hello, time passes. This expired time holds sunrises, laughter, minor spats, and bushels of laughter that we spend very much apart. Life goes on and we miss out. Life goes on and life runs out. I make a concentrated effort to not fixate on this, to not dwell, but it sticks to the back of my skull and makes me more and more anxious to be home with every day that passes.
We grow up and they send us out into the fascinating world to make a life of our own. But how can anyone expect for me to find anything that can compare to the nest I just left? Not in a million years could any house I create provide love, security, acceptance, and that general sense of just-belonging as my childhood home. Who are we kidding? Little birds don't want to be pushed out of the nest to fly for a reason. Is this what growing up is? To strive every day to carve a life that fits as well as the one we abandoned?
How lucky I am to have a family that I cannot possibly not miss constantly. How lucky I am to be able to come home to them so often and not miss out on our life. How blessed I am to have my old nest to fly home to in times of hurt, in times of joy, in times of celebration.
I love you, family. We are normal and abnormal by all written standards, and I wouldn't want it any other way. We are best under the same roof, but we will love each other and plan well for the next time.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)