Just allow me this post to brag a little, ok? :) Today I realized that we are not too far away from celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary, and I just have no idea where the time went. It's gone by in a flash, and I have to say that I've enjoyed almost every minute of it. Somehow the stars aligned to give me the most perfect husband for me.
Somebody asked me a few weeks ago what the "building blocks" or foundations of my relationship were and if there were any that I'd like to add. I was completely speechless. It's a fabulous question and one that needed some ruminating on my part before I could answer. So far, I believe our foundations are: laughter, trust, vulnerability, empathy, and romance.
LAUGHTER: we laugh a lot. Anyone who has visited knows that between the dogs, spur of the moment nerf gun fights, Don's juggling, and my inability to filter my thoughts means we are endlessly (and sometimes inappropriately) laughing. Laughter always feels good. It creates a bond when you laugh with someone (even the stranger standing in line with you!) The day we can no longer laugh together will be the day before we head to counseling, I think.
TRUST: I trust Don implicitly. He is the only person in my adult life who I tell anything and everything to with no fear or trepidation. The worst thing I ever had to tell him (involving a rather large money mistake on my part) made my palms sweat but it was on the table. He is an incredibly good listener, problem solver, and team mate, and he is always on my side even if he is furious.
VULNERABILITY: somewhat related to trust...we all have flaws, weaknesses, issues. I have more than some. Just last week he came home and told me that Lowes has their scary Halloween decorations up already (something that causes a nearly instant panic attack in me) and he is understanding when there are things that I just cannot do sometimes because of anxiety.
EMPATHY: I think some people file this under "tolerance" but I believe the two are very different. Tolerance, to me, has a negative connotation; it feels like you are just standing by while something unpleasant unfolds. Empathy, for us, is trying to understand where the other party is coming from so that you can support them. There are definitely things we each do that drive each other absolutely crazy. Some of them are completely unnecessary while others are a product of exhaustion or misunderstanding. It makes me less insane to pick up dirty socks that are strewn all over the house when I stop and realize that he's had those socks and boots on since 7am.
ROMANCE: I like to think we do lots of small gestures for each other that keep that little flame glowing. Lately, Don's been reading the weird baby books I brought home and making me tea every evening exactly the way I like it. (It involves a timer and a spoon and a certain mug. Yes, he's a saint.) But there are bigger, perhaps less obviously romantic things that he does. He has spent hours and hours researching cars and refrigerators which are our next big purchases. Hours. He emails me links, leaves pages open for me to browse, and researches the heck out of everything.
I think I'll wait until the next post to talk about some of the ones I'd like to add since I have a huge to do list to attend to!
