All three of the pups are 'crate trained' which means when I yell, "KENNEL UP!", they all go right into their respective metal crates with no protest and hang out there until I let them out. They don't try to escape, cry, bark, or get into any other trouble during normal crate time.
Lately I've been working afternoons and leaving them out of their crates...they are usually content from a long walk and are ready to nap. They've had no problems being in the house alone...no accidents, no chewing, no problem.
Yesterday morning, I left for three hours and left them out of their crates.
On the way home I realized that I had broken Don's favorite growler. Then, I got a massive paper cut across my palm at the post office. I should've known those were portents telling me to just go straight to Fritz and start drinking. I should've known.
I opened the door to the house and nobody greeted me. There was dead silence. As I started looking around, I realized that something was very, very wrong.
Barley pulled a giant bag of halloween candy off of the counter and the three dogs spent a few hours destroying it. The bag didn't have chocolate in it, thank goodness, no nobody had to have hydrogen peroxide basted down their throats.
I will add some (rather graphic) photos to give everyone a basic idea. It was awful.
There were wrappers and little neon Nerd candies every where accompanied by similarly neon puke.
Sara, apparently, stashed her candy in a little hidey hole...she unwrapped all of her candy perfectly and sorted the wrappers by type. She seriously managed to open her Laffy Taffy's right down the seam like a human would!!
Zak, the lazy bastard, ate all of his candy on the couch. He was less careful when he opened his, but like Sara, he left a neat pile of wrappers, unsorted.
But Barley. Oh Barley....Barley ate as much candy as he could, whole, without unwrapping it. All of the puke was his...unwrapped Laffy Taffys, and soggy Nerds boxes and soggy sweetarts.
I threw them all outside immediately. For their protection. Because I wanted to kill them so badly. I cleaned up as much as was reasonable and went to sit outside with them (in the rain, mind you!)
About an hour passed and everyone seemed OK so we went inside. My blood pressure was near normal again when Barley started puking AGAIN. Now, normal dogs open their mouths and point their noses towards the floor when they vomit. Barley just sat with his mouth barely open so the puke ran out of his mouth like an over flowing toilet, down his chest, and all of the floor. During his second puke, as I tried in vain to usher him into the linoleum kitchen, he projectile vomited and started running. He managed to cover my washing machine, rugs, and walls with it.
I sat in the one square foot of dining room that was NOT covered in puke and cried as Barley tried to re-eat his Laffy Taffy barf. I honestly hated my little ginger vomit volcano enough to pass out.
I hope that despite the nastiness of this post, you are laughing or at least smiling a little bit. The whole episode was beyond "BAD DOG" and now that my house is clean and everyone is done puking, I can see the humor in it.
Thank God I bought my bleach wipes in bulk from Costco!
Wrappers and candy ground into carpet...
I also have a photo of the puke, but I'll spare you the gory details.
No comments:
Post a Comment